Fair Verona
by Two-Eyed Charlie
Summary: A series of interrelated one-shots exploring the budding (and often times laborious) relationship between the Dark Knight and Wonder Woman... Warts and all. Will explore what amounts to several years worth of interactions, with each chapter focusing on a theme of their relationship and a new way for Bruce to nearly get thrown into the upper atmosphere. Hubris, it'll kill ya.
1. Finding a Reason

**All characters are owned by DC Comics. If they were owned by me, I'd probably have enough money to hire an editor or some other figure of authority that could tell me to spend my nights doing something like sleeping as opposed to writing sappy fanficiton...**

 **I'd still tell them to stuff it, but...meh**

 ***BIG OL' EDIT* This was originally just a one-off that I set in my "Reign of Terror" universe, but I liked the idea of exploring the BM/WW relationship in uniquish and more personal ways enough to extend this into an anthology of sorts. So there will be more than one chapter now (and the title will be changed, since "Finding a Reason" is now Chapter One's title), and it won't be set on Earth-861 anymore...for an assortment of reasons.**

 **I still don't have shame though, that hasn't changed. Expect more soon, since I've got some ideas lying around. Not enough to mess with ROT's upload schedule but...well maybe.**

* * *

 _ **Finding a Reason**_

"Hand me the hard drive, Dick." Demanded Batman, his head still buried amongst a jungle of wires and coolant tubing. Nightwing placed the component in his mentor's outstretched glove as he dropped his gaze, his form lazily perched on top of the Monitor Wombs sprawling computer platform.

"Please tell me you didn't drag me up here just to help you with computer maintenance…"

An audible grunt echoed through the crawl space as Batman's shoulder's disappeared further into the machinery. "You're the only one besides me with enough experience in Wayne Tech operating systems to not cause a system-wide software failure during upkeep, and this is a two-man job."

"That means _yes_ , doesn't it?"

"You said you wanted to help…"

Dick sighed. "I was kinda hoping it would involve fists, maybe a kick or two."

"Just wait until this thing seizes up on me again…"

Dick chuckled at his mentor's deadpan as he directed his gaze out the viewing window, the pristine visage of the Earth hovering serenely in the inky blackness of space. The gleam from the rising crest of the sun caught his eye.

"Gotta admit, you guys have a hell of a view up here. Must be hard being groundside when you get to wake up to that."

"It isn't." came Batman's curt reply as he emerged from the crawl space, ignoring the irked look Nightwing now sported. He deftly typed a command into the Monitor's keypad as the screen blinked into existence, bathing the duo in a low blue hue. After a strained paused, Dick straightened his posture.

"So what's the latest installment for?"

Batman's eye's remained on the immense screen in front of them. "It's an operating algorithm that will allow our satellites to scan for atmospheric anomalies, specifically clusters of a particular bio-organic indicator commonly found in meta-humans."

"So you're making sure you can tell if someone with superpowers enters the atmosphere, right?"

Batman nodded, his fingers typing furiously as rows of code materialized on the screen. Dick chuckled as a smirk grew across his face.

"Your predication for sesquipedalian loquaciousness in lieu of a more orthodox syntax is vexatious and incensing to the ephemeral familiary in your vicinity…"

"Using _vexatious_ and i _ncensing_ in the same sentence is redundant." Batman replied absentmindedly, still racing through the algorithms lengthy code. "Also, _familiary_ isn't a word."

"Are you sure? It sounds perfectly cromulent…"

"Stop that."

"I wish you knew what humour was…"

" _Now_ who's being vexatious…" he deadpanned.

Dick's laugh increased in volume as he shuffled towards Batman, his hand lightly resting on the bulky man's shoulder. "You really are no fun, you know that?"

A discrete smile appeared on Batman's face as he stepped back from the computer, his gaze directed at his former ward softly. "I'm aware, which is why it's your turn in the crawl space."

Dick's hand roughly fell from Batman's shoulders as he glared, though his childish smirk remained plastered on his face. "Isn't child labour illegal?"

"Not in space; its complete anarchy up here." he teased, his grim covered gauntlet pointing towards the hole in the mainframe. Dick grumbled as he crouched, pulling back his long hair before inserting himself into the dimly lit box. His annoyed protests echoed off the steel walls.

"I'm going to run a systems diagnosis to make sure everything's compatible. Use the frequency analyzer connected to the transponder to maintain contact with our satellites. Just in case…"

"Yeah yeah I know, in case it starts raining billions of dollars' worth of city busting junk…" Dick mumbled. He crawled towards a faint green light flickering behind a batch of wiring, his arm extended forward to clasp the duel dials jutting out of its base.

"Got it, you can start now." he called out, wincing slightly as his voice ricocheted off his enclosed surroundings.

"Starting diagnostic…" Batman's fingers flew over the keys as the screen morphed in front of him. A high-pitch wine escaped from the space below as Nightwing fiddled with the waves darting across the analyzer's screen. "Already at 10 percent. Let me know if anything happens down there."

"Gotcha boss."

The mechanical doors of the lower floor whooshed open as Green Lantern strode in, wisps of steam rising from his coffee. He craned his neck upwards towards the figure of the Dark Knight hunched over the room's main monitor, his deep baritone rising over the whirling of the machine.

"Morning, Batman."

The cloaked figure's gaze remained fixated on the screen in front of him, the clacking of the keys still emanating. John shook his head as he continued towards an empty station.

"Typical…" he murmured.

"50 percent…" he reported, glancing at the prone form of Nightwing. A hand shot out of the crawl space, its thumb pointed towards the ceiling.

"Still good down here; just keep doing what you're doing."

Batman returned to the screen in front of him as a slight current of air hit the back of his legs. His glare hardened as the Man of Steel deftly landed behind him.

"Bruce, can you look over these After-Action reports. I noticed a few things off after the last deployment…"

"Busy." he replied dismissively, his eyes never leaving the screen. Superman chuckled.

"Right, sorry. I'll just leave them on your desk." He glided towards the Monitor Womb's lower floor as Batman called out to Dick.

"Any problems?"

"None, other than the fact that my sinuses are throttling my head right now…"

Batman said nothing as he pulled up a second screen next to the compiling code, its schematic of the Watchtower reading out a calming _Fully Operational_. He closed the window as the central tower's doors shot open, the distinct clacking of heels drowning out the computer's hum. Batman's shoulder's tensed as he stopped typing.

"Hello, Bruce. How are you?"

"Fine, Princess." he gently responded, craning his neck behind him to lock eyes with the Amazon. "How about you?"

"I'm good." she smiled, teeth sparkling in the overhead light. "Haven't got my iced mocha yet, but I can manage a few hours without it."

"I can make a run to the commissary when I'm done." Batman turned to face Diana, his cloak nestling loosely on his shoulders. Her smile grew incrementally larger.

"That's alright; I just came up to drop this off." They broke eye contact as she placed a light brown folder on top of the stack carried in by Superman. Her gaze returned to the stoic figure of Batman. "Want me to return the favour?"

Batman turned back towards the computer as his cloak enveloped him, his voice still neutral. "I'll be fine; I had coffee before I got here. Thanks though."

She nodded, a smile creeping further onto her ruby lips as she walked back to the central tower's elevator. She waved at the Dark Knight. "Be seeing you then. We're still on for sparring later, right?"

Batman's hidden face beamed as Wonder Woman entered the elevator, her eyes just barely catching the small smirk forming as he spoke. "Wouldn't miss it, Princess."

"Oh sure, don't ask if I want anything…" mumbled Dick as the doors closed, snapping Batman's attention back towards the computer screen.

"We're done." He stated flatly. "You can come out now."

"Gladly…" he mused, brushing off a layer of grit as he rose. Reaching his full height, he stared at Batman, his brow furrowed in interest.

"So…what was that?"

Batman stared unfazed. "What was _what_?"

"That…" he pointed to where Wonder Woman once stood. "You actually engaged in a conversation. Hell you even said _thank you_."

"It was nothing…" Batman tensed, his weight shuffling uneasily from foot to foot.

"Sure, and bears only shit in outhouses. I can read body language, Bruce. You've got yourself a little crush, don't you?"

"How very mature of you…" he replied dryly, focusing his attention back on the fully prepped monitor. Dick, however, stepped in front of him.

"You gonna ask her out?" he prodded.

"No."

"Why not? Chicken?"

"Out of the way, Dick…"

"So you're willing to punch Darkseid in the face, but you're too scared to ask out a team-mate?"

" _Drop it_ …" he seethed, pushing his young ward roughly out of his path. Dick leaned closer to his ear in return.

"Then _ask_ her Old Man! She's the only immortal one you know…"

"I'm _not_ asking her out!" he bellowed, his face angrily pressed against Nightwing's. His ward's smile stretched across his entire face.

"Fine, I'll do it for you." With near super-human speed, he bounded towards the edge of the platform just as Wonder Woman exited the elevator. Leaning over, he called out towards her, making sure to attract as much attention as possible.

"HEY DIANA! BRUCE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING!" he turned back towards Batman in time to see him desperately reach a clenched hand towards him, a vitriolic glare shooting out from his eyes.

"Dick I swear to god…" he stopped as Wonder Woman floated over top of them, her crimson boots reaching the floor gently. Her arms were crossed over her chest as an amused smirk sat on her face.

 _She knows…._ mused Dick internally… _this is going to be hilarious_ …

"Dick could you give us a minute?" Batman demanded, his fiery gaze still attempting to burrow into his. Dick's shoulders slumped.

 _Awww man…..no fun at all….._

Trudging to the elevator, he waved his hand dismissively in Batman's direction. The Dark Knight's glare followed him until the elevator doors shut, his eyes then nervously darting towards the regal Amazon in front of him.

Her smirk grew as he stuttered.

"I-I…he's just…you know…"

"No, can't say I do…" she leaned forward teasingly, causing Batman to shift backwards again. He rubbed the nape of his armoured neck nervously.

"He's…I think he's just…being, uhm…"

"Wasting time?" she finished, her twinkling eyes staring directly into his.

"Sure…yes. Just wasting time."

Her smirk grew as she began rise, her arms still crossed over her chest. "Ah, well you know boys that age. Always so pig-headed. Trying to get a laugh. Kid's stuff; things us adults would never do, right?"

"Right…" he replied sheepishly, his gaze dropping towards the unremarkable floor.

"Well if that's everything…" she turned slowly to leave just as Batman reached out towards her.

"Wait, uh…I just installed a new combat sim in the batcave…I figure it only makes sense that you be the first to test it out. Before I export it up here, that is…"

She dropped back to the floor, her arms draped beside her thighs. "An intriguing idea…" She sauntered closer to Batman. "But if we do that, I might need something to eat. It's never a good idea to fight on an empty stomach after all."

"I'm…sure Alfred could whip something up for you…us…" he continued to stammer as he tried to direct his gaze back to the floor, only to find it impossible as her eyes locked onto his.

"Sounds lovely." She stated, her form leaping gracefully into the air. "I'll swing by around 6:00 or so." She took off towards the exit before he could say anything in response, her smirk morphing into a full, tooth filled grin as she hurriedly exited the room. Batman remained standing, slowly realizing that his legs had started quivering unconsciously halfway through his embarrassing drabble. He growled before turning back towards the computer, his mind racing.

 _That boy better hope he's already teleported off the tower, or so help me god….._

…

…

…

He fumbled with his cuff links, the polished gold twiddling endlessly in his fingers. He paced over the soft rug in tune with the soft clicking of the grand clock nestled against the wall, its hands creeping ever closer to the six. His mind churned with warring thoughts as he stared into whichever wall he saw in front of him.

 _You'll be fine, you're Batman. She just thinks it's about the combat program…_

 _Are you really that dense? You KNOW why she's here…_

 _Yes, Dick invited her. Against my will._

 _You could have stopped him. Said no. You WANT her to come._

 _Why am I arguing with myself! I'm not crazy!_

 _Yes you are! You've been ignoring her for god knows…_

He jolted out of his internal sparring as the door-bell chimed echoed throughout the manor, stopping Bruce hard in his tracks. The sharp footfalls of Alfred followed the distinguished Englishman as he rounded the corner, his eyes meeting Bruce's with a knowing gleam. He glided to the entrance, heaving both doors open…

To reveal the stunning visage of Wonder Woman. Her raven hair flowed over her shoulders as the orange hue of the setting sun poured over her white jacket. A slight breeze rustled her matching skirt, its material wrapping itself around her legs like woven silk.

Bruce marveled at her form while also silently praying for a heart attack to claim him right then and there. His nervousness only increased as Alfred's hand gently clasped hers.

"Such a pleasure to see you again, Miss Diana. And I must say you look absolutely astonishing this evening."

Diana smiled as she graciously took the elderly gentleman's hand. "It's great to see you too Alfred. Hope I'm not intruding on any evening plans."

"Hardly, Miss." His smile warmed. "Besides, any day that you grace these hallowed halls with your presence would be celebration enough to cancel should any plans exist. Getting Master Bruce to _socialize_ is equally momentous."

"That's sweet, though Dick did strong arm him into this." Her eyes peered over Alfred's shoulder as they locked onto the brooding form of Bruce. Her smile turned playful as she watched him nervously fumble with his tie.

"Ah but of course…" sighed Alfred, his form moving away from her line of sight as he closed the doors. "Master Bruce would never possess such aptitude."

"That'll be all, Alfred." growled Bruce as he cleared his throat. His faithful butler remained unfazed.

"Very good sir. Dinner is not yet ready, so perhaps the Master could show her the bustling garden he recently planted, hmm?"

"I didn't know you gardened." Diana teased. She caught the gleam in Alfred's eye as he continued.

"You should witness him in action, Miss Diana. Such _intense_ focus on the field of horticulture. Why I believe he recently planted a series of _Greek_ flowers he had imported in…"

"Alfred…" he scowled, shooting glares at his guardian. Diana giggled at his flustered form.

"And when he saw them, my how he wept. You would think it was as though he had read the magnum opus of William Blake himself!"

"Don't you have more important things to do?" Bruce warned. Diana's laughter only grew.

"Hardly sir, but I suppose I'd rather not sleep in the cave this evening. I'll take my leave." He politely bowed before disappearing further into the mansion, leaving the giggling Diana alone with the still flustered Dark Knight. They locked eyes again as her smile widened, sending waves of heat crashing through Bruce's body. The silence grew heavy as his gaze darted towards the floor, his mind struggling to pierce the veil of unfamiliar emotion draped over it. His eyes focused on the matching crimson of Diana's strappy shoes and toe nail polish.

"Uhm…nice shoes…" he stated meekly, his gaze slowly meeting the amused look of the Princess in front of him. She leaned in playfully.

"One attack on your manhood and you're at a loss for words, huh?"

"I'm…" he paused, composing himself. "I can't say that I'm very good at this."

She gleamed softly as she extended her arm outwards, motioning for him to lock onto her with his own. "Don't worry…" she teased. "I'll protect you. Just tell me how to get to this wondrous garden of yours and we'll work our way from there."

…

…

…

The walk through the manor was brisk and uneventful, the occasional silence broken by polite conversation and the clicking of her heels against the floor. Diana's mind replayed the last time she had toured the manor, shortly after the Thanagarian invasion, and noted that few, if anything had been changed in the intervening years. She tightened her hold on Bruce's arm as she felt another flutter of nervousness wrack his form, mentally quipping that he was adorable when he acted like an anxious teenager.

Bruce's grip loosened as they approached a set of doors, beige curtains lapping over the sides. The faint glow of a disappearing sun shrouded the room in orange as beams burst forth from the curtains seems. Gently, Bruce opened them, giving way to a stunning panorama of the sprawling garden in front of them.

Diana gawked in amazement as her senses were assaulted with shades of pink, violent and white while her eyes poured over the colourful quilt of the garden. Manicured flowers stretched towards the rocky cliffs, their regal stems grasping at the sanguine sky. A pleasant concoction of smells wafted off the petals, carried to her nose by the gentle currents of the breeze. She noticed a set of familiar flowers nestled into a corner of the garden, adorned by pearly white statues of varying Greek heroes. The sun glistened off her teeth as her smile continued to grow.

"Alfred wasn't lying about the garden…" They leaned against the railing of the porch; shoulder's pressed together as they stared into the sea of colours.

"Not at all…though for the record, I only cried like I had read John Keats."

Diana laughed as she turned towards the smirking Bruce. "Humour _and_ a smile, tell me it's not the Apocalypse already." They shared a laugh as their eyes locked, the breeze whipping their hair across their face. They remained silent, gazing into one another, unmoving except for the flapping of their clothes.

Bruce broke from the stare and turned towards the garden, his shoulders visibly slumping as he pushed against the railing. Diana frowned, placing a concerned hand over his own.

"Bruce…"

"This was a mistake…" he interrupted, a small snarl forming. "You shouldn't have come here…not like this…"

Diana withdrew her hand and pushed back from the railing. Her voice remained soft as she spoke, the wind lightly clipping her skin.

"I don't want to fight, not about this. Not again. But I think I at least deserve to know _why_ …"

"I already told you why." he replied curtly, his gaze still burrowing endlessly into the remaining crest of the setting sun.

"You and I both know those have nothing to do with your decision. Please, just be honest with me…" she lightly grasped his head and pulled his gaze towards hers. " _Please…_ " she pleaded with forcing eyes, desperately searching his own for answers. He placed his hands over hers, guiding them towards the railing where he held them in clasped fists. His voice lowered, as equal parts solemn as it was contemplative.

"They're not all a cover…Diana, I'm a mortal. Just flesh and blood. I'll be dead in what amounts to a blink of the eye for you, if I even manage to survive that long. I don't want you to be tied down to someone who's only going to be a part of you for a fraction of your time here; it's not fair to you."

Her eyes glistened as she cupped his face, slowly bringing his head closer to hers. "I would gladly sacrifice the rest of my life if it meant I could spend it with you, but it won't come to that. You _know_ I'm stronger than that, strong enough to always keep you in my heart but also live life like you would want me too."

He protested. "But if I die Diana…"

"Then I mourn, but Bruce, don't you think it's infinitely crueler to make me go through your death thinking about what could have been instead of experiencing it? No memory is more heart breaking than regret."

He paused, his sulking gaze dropping again to their feet. A shudder erupted from his shoulders, startling her slightly. She pulled his gaze back into her eyes as she stared at him defiantly.

"You already know that, I can tell. What's the _real_ reason Bruce? You can tell me."

The wind whistled through their still forms as he grew silently. Gently, he removed her hands before leaning back over the railing, addressing the darkness creeping over them as it stretched to the now sunless horizon. He bowed his head.

"People say that I'm fighting a one-man war on crime…but I'm not." Diana stared at him, surprise creeping onto her face. He continued his voice still sunken.

"Crime didn't take my parents. It didn't take Dick's either. Or Jason's life. Or Clark's world.…every time I put on that cowl, I'm fighting against _death_ itself." The darkness of the night engulfed the last beams of light, plunging them into a vast inky blanket. Diana placed a hand on his shoulder, seeing pain pour from his very being as he spoke.

"I'm terrified of death, Diana. Not of my own, but of others. So I make myself a target. I point to the heavens and I dare the universe to strike me down; to let out all its crazies, its tyrants, its regular street thugs desperate enough to solve their problems with a gun. I put myself in front of the proverbial bullet so no one else has to. I take whatever evil the world throws out when the sun goes down so that when the morning comes, people still have their wife or husband next to them."

He paused as he turned towards Diana, her face blank as she stared at him. He gently clasped her shoulders and squeezed them as shadows enveloped them.

"You _know_ that's a dark path, god knows I do. And it's a lonely one too, because it has to be. The idea that your soul-mate, the person you pour your everything into, goes out every night with a _death wish_ …I wouldn't put anyone through that. But with you…Diana, you're the most perfect woman I've ever met. You inspire hope where ever you go, you fill hearts with courage when it's all but been extinct…you're the beacon of everything that makes it _right_ to be alive. Without you, the universe would be an infinitely darker place than it already is…and I can't stand the thought of dragging you down into this abyss with me."

A single tear slid down her cheek, his rough finger brushing it off in one deft motion. She closed her eyes as his hands left her cheeks, feeling his presence wafer as he turned to leave.

"I don't care." she called out to him, her gaze hardened. Bruce's eyes lit up in shock.

"Diana I…"

"No, stop and listen to me. _I. Don't. Care._ " She defiantly crossed the distance between them, her gaze burrowing into his once more.

"You're not the only one who's dealt with death. I'm an Amazon, I've trudged through fields littered with the gore of my sisters since the day my mother sculpted me. _I know death_ , almost as well as you do." she paused as she lowered her voice, he glare turning soft as she grasped Bruce's hands.

"What you do is the noblest thing I've ever seen, and I'll never take that away from you. But it's dangerous to go at it alone. Without some reason to exist, without some _humanity_ , all that will happen is the void will pull you in and distort you into a dark shell of whatever you were. It'll release a monster back into the world you swore to protect, and you'll be helpless to watch it destroy everything you've worked to prevent."

"Which is why this can't ever work." he protested. "I won't risk your life just so you can save mine."

She sighed, resting her forehead on his.

"Then you're damning yourself. It's not a _what if_ anymore, it's just a suicide march. For you and everyone around you." She glanced back into his eyes, their gaze noticeably softer. "Bruce, you've done so much for me since we've met, at least let me try to make you happy. You need that little sliver of humanity to keep you tied down, and you _know_ that I'm strong enough to keep both of us out of the darkness."

He tried to object, but words escaped him. He felt his face fall, emotion sweeping through him like a violent storm. He nestled his head on her shoulder as she continued.

"It won't just be me Bruce. Alfred, Tim, Dick, even Clark, we're all here for you." She paused, raising his head from her shoulder and staring into his moist eyes. "I just want to be there a little more than the others, that's all. Let me in, _please_. There's no one more dedicated to your cause _and_ your safety than me."

He stood meekly, arms limp by his side. The moisture in his eyes disappeared as the nightly wind swept away the tears, the impenetrable blackness still surrounding them. Suddenly, he chuckled, catching Diana off guard. He stuffed his hands into his pocket as he spoke.

"You know, I'm amazed at how much you've grown since the invasion all those years back. You were the most innocent, naïve woman I had ever met, and yet here you are, making a speech that would make Friedrich Nietzsche pause and re-evaluate his entire philosophy…"

"And you're still the most single-minded, infuriating man in the entire world." she chuckled in response, lightly striking him in the arm. "But it's nice to know that every once in a while you strip off your masks for me. I know not many people get that honor."

"I don't know, Clark _did_ get me Belgian chocolate for my birthday…"

She roughly grabbed his shoulders before pulling him closer, their lips mere inches way from each other. "Save the jokes for when I don't want to kiss you." she purred.

"If you insist." he replied softly, his hand gently rubbing the nape of her neck.

"Does that mean you'll give this a try?"

"I'm still skeptical…" he paused, considering his words carefully. "But there's no one on this planet that I trust more than you. So I'm willing to jump in, provided we both have a safety net to catch us if things go wrong."

She smiled as she gently pecked the tip of his nose, both of their eyes closing.

"I'd expect nothing less from the Dark Knight."

Their lips connected as sparks shot through each other's bodies, their hands clasped together at their sides.

The stars in the blackened sky twinkled into existence, their piercing light ripping apart the ebony fabric of the void and bathing the duo in a flickering hue. The wind ceased completely, the only sound around them being the gentle crashing of the waves below them.

…

…

…

Batman fiddled with a loose key on Monitor Womb's main computer as he heard the slight flutter of wind behind him. The Man of Steel placed another set of folders on a table behind him, taking care not to disturb the work of the man in front of him.

"I'll just put these here; let me know when you've got a moment to look them over."

The Dark Knight placed his tools down before walking briskly towards the still floating Superman, his cloak pushed upwards over his shoulders.

"I can skim through them now if you want; shouldn't take me more than a few minutes."

Superman stared at the man next to him, a look of complete shock emanating from his features. He shook the surprise off as he turned towards the edge of the platform.

"Right…I'm going to go grab a coffee from the commissary, so…"

"You can have mine." Batman interrupted. "I haven't had any yet, so there's no backwash."

The Man of Steel was floored. His feet landed hard on the ground as he plodded towards the Dark Knight, his eyes still skimming the now opened folder. The door to the Monitor Room opened as Green Lantern entered, his own cup of coffee perched precariously on the top of set of notepads.

"Morning Lantern." Batman called downwards, his attention still directed towards the spreadsheets in front of him.

"What in the!?" John cried, his coffee lurching from his arms and tumbling to the floor. He cursed as Superman stared agape at Batman.

"Might want to give that coffee to Lantern instead."

"Alright, who are you and what did you do with Batman?"

He stopped flipping through the files and glanced at Superman. "It's me Kent. Who in their right mind would break into the Watchtower just to run around in my underwear?"

"And now he's making jokes too!" Superman exclaimed loudly, his arms shooting up into the air. "Did we collide with another universe again? Or…" he paused as the doors to the room opened again, the distinctive pattern of Wonder Woman's uniform entering his view. She sauntered towards the central tower's elevator, her pleasant humming echoing throughout the Womb's halls. A smirk grew across Superman's face.

"Oh…well _finally_."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Stated Batman dismissively, his gaze diverted back towards the file in his hands. He closed the brown folder and thrust it towards the still gleaming Superman.

"We'll need to work with our away-teams on hostile environment extraction, otherwise everything seems in order."

"Right…" mused Superman as he grasped the folders from Batman's outstretched hand. A small smile crept onto his face as the sound of the elevators whirling engines filled their ears.

"Shouldn't you go get Lantern his coffee?" deadpanned Batman.

"Of course, how could I be so insensitive…" He gave the Dark Knight a knowing wink as he drifted over the platform's edge, his red and blue form falling gracefully towards the now coffee stain floor. Glancing over his shoulder, Batman caught the glistening visage of the Earth as the sun crept over its horizon, its golden glow flowing over the mixture of blue, green and white before it struck the window. Batman smiled, basking in its warm glow.

 _Dick was right…it is a hell of a view….._

* * *

 ***Points fingers and screeches* FLUFF! FLUFF!**

 **Yeah, I wanted to try my hand at writing some legitimate romance stuff between my two favorite characters. The kind that doesn't involve alternate universe and kicking people in the nuts. Just some good old fashioned, dialogue heavy, hopefully humorous (until its not), romance.**

 **And I'll be damned if I didn't enjoy it.**

 **Let me know what you think, and thanks for taking the time to read it!**


	2. Sparring

**Welcome back for Part II of the now ongoing series of "I wish these guys would just suck it up and do it already". Minus the doing it part...it is only rated 'T' after all.**

 **Thank you kindly for the reviews, and I hope you continue to enjoy reading these little, related one-shots! They're far less depressing than "Reign of Terror" is, so maybe I can finally quit all those hard drugs I have to take!**

 **Oh, and the characters are all still owned by DC...I don't know if I have to keep on saying that, but just in case, there you have it.**

 **The one thing that _is_ owned by me is my dignity (or what's left of it), but I'm more than willing to sacrifice that for a sandwich or something...just saying**

* * *

 _ **Sparring**_

"Don't worry Princess; I'll go easy on you."

Wonder Woman stared incredulously at the Dark Knight as he stood rigid on the other side of the combat mat, his cloak enveloping him in blackness. The flutter of tiny wings echoed throughout the rocky ceiling of the cave, their shadows dancing in the dim overhead light nestled within the rock. She crooked her hips as she smirked.

"Are you sure you want to do this, oh weak and puny mortal?"

The corner of Batman's lips curled as he titled his head slightly, feigning surprise.

"Not backing out are we? I know I can be intimidating, but surely the great Princess of the Amazon's would have a little more gall…"

"Push my buttons if you want, doesn't change the fact that Alfred's going to have a _very_ busy night with you." She paused, her smirk growing into a full blown, teasing smile. "Oh, and don't call me Shirley."

"Well that settles it; I'm definitely _not_ going easy on you." Batman replied, throwing his cloak over his shoulders. "And you should tell Flash to lay off the old parodies before you stumble onto _Dead and Loving It_ ; my heart would break if you were subjected to that…"

"You're so sweet…" she deadpanned, reading her combat stance. Her arms remained rigid in front of her face as she glared down her opponent, millennia of Amazonian battles and competitions awakening her muscles. She floated off the ground slightly, a reminder to her sparring partner that intended to use every power she possessed to its fullest extent. She called out towards Batman, his own stance poised for combat.

"Alright, so when do you want to…"

He pounced, a grapple line erupting from his fist. She caught the line in her hand and yanked hard, hurtling his body towards her. She readied her fist for a strike…

…until a small explosion erupted beneath her feet, tiny shards of black metal spewing from its epicentre. Her gaze dropped momentarily to look at the smouldering hole below…

…just as Batman's boots slammed hard into her chest, throwing her backwards.

Still dazed, she saw Batman's leg sweep towards her head out of the corner of her eye. She ducked the blow, feeling the current of wind pass over her head as his leg soared through the air. As she drew back her fist, his sweeping kick descended sharply on her knee, hard enough to buckle the joint and send her crashing down. Her chin connected with his upward moving elbow, lurching her back. She remained on one knee, her hand rubbing her tender jaw.

"You alright Princess?" Batman asked, his cloak again fallen over his shoulders. She nodded curtly.

"Fine. Dirty trick with the batarang though…" she teased.

"I'll let you know when I can punch through brick walls, then." He deadpanned, his stance shifting again into combat mode. She rose to her feet and inhaled deeply. A smile crept back onto her face.

"If I told you Two-Face was behind you, would you believe me?"

"No."

"Didn't think so." She sprinted towards him, dropping to her knees as leveled a kick at her head. She swept at his shins, forcing him to vault into the air…

…where he was met with a hard snap kick to the gut, throwing him across the mat with an audible grunt. He spread his cloak to slow his descent, only to hear the whoosing of air soar past him as the back of his shins were kicked out from under him. He tumbled hard to the mat, barely dodging a powerful punch as he rolled to the side.

He blocked a light jab with his forearm before connecting with one of his own, a strategic blow to the side of her head. She winced as her ears rang out in protest before pushing back, releasing a blind, high ick to his face. His gloved hand clamped around her ankle and held it in place.

He rose to his full height, still holding onto her ankle, as she grunted in protest, hopping desperately on her free leg to keep her from falling to the mat. She frowned.

"Are you going to let go?"

"What, I thought you liked dancing?" he jeered, watching her intently. His smirk dropped to a frown as she began to hover, dragging his now limp arm with her.

"Uh huh..." her free foot collided with his jaw, snapping his head back and releasing her ankle. She dove back towards him, only to feel the leathery material of his cloak roughly slap her face as he spun around. Stunned, she felt his fist jab into her midsection, followed by a powerful elbow to her temple. Pausing, she swung her arm towards the bellowing cape, feeling her fist collide with Batman's arm through the swirling blackness. He grunted in pain as he leapt backwards out of her range.

"You could poke someone's eye out with that thing you know…" she teased, regaining her balance. Batman rotated his numb shoulder in an exaggerated motion.

"I _was_ going to make you cookies after this, but since I can't feel my arm…"

"Why would I willingly let you poison me?" she entered her combat stance again. "I'm almost certain you use anthrax instead of flour half the time…"

Batman paused, his face contemplative. "That's not a bad idea, actually. Maybe Wayne Catering can do Kent's Birthday this year…"

" _Bruce!"_ she chuckled, her arms dropping to her sides again. "Wait…you own a catering business?"

"The tax implications made it hard to pass up…"

She shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose, her laughter still echoing through the cave. "You sound like William F Buckley…"

"Now _that_ will cost you…" he quipped as he launched himself into the air. A pair of batarangs leapt from his gauntlets and clanked harmlessly off Wonder Woman's bracelets. As her arms remained raised in front of her face, a bat line snaked around her wrists, binding them together. Before she could pull them apart, she found herself lurching forward towards the ground, Batman's boot poised over her head. His kick connected hard, followed by a vicious knee to her face and an open palmed strike to her chest. Stumbling backwards, she snapped the entwined line and smirked at her sparring partner.

"Now what would have happened if I called you Sean Hannity?"

"I would have run you over with the batmobile…" he deadpanned, rummaging in his utility belt under his cape. "Maybe dropped the Watchtower on you." Her smile widened as he teased.

"I forgot how sensitive you are."

He hushed his voice, his finger raised to his lips. "Hey, I have a reputation to protect you know."

She chuckled. "Of course, Hera forbid the bat's figure out you're not normal or some other blasphemy…"

"Just punch me already."

"If you insist…" she dashed towards the unprepared Batman, her fist clipping his jaw and sending him sprawling to the mat. He maneuvered upwards, flinging a series of electrified batarangs towards her. She ducked the projectiles and shot towards Batman, only to halt as she was enveloped in a pulsating wall of electricity. Her muscles seized as his feet collided with her chest, sending her sprawling to the mat.

He pounced to pin her on the mat, only to have a retaliatory elbow smash into his nose. He dodged a sweeping kick and plowed his charging shoulders hard into her abdomen, attaching a small bit of plastique to the back of her thigh. Throwing him off, she tore the explosive off her skin, only to curse as she heard the click of Batman's remote detonator. The blast echoed through the cave and enveloped her in thick smoke, her senses choked out by the wisps of black. A batarang cut through the haze and smashed into her forehead, knocking her back slightly.

His form leapt towards her, deflecting her incoming fist with his own. She blocked his kick with her knee before latching onto his wrist. He did the same after deflecting a flailing jab. Their hardened faces locked eyes, snarling in combat adrenaline. In a flash, they softened; gazing gently into each other's bruised faces.

"Impressive Bruce, not even Kal can fight me to a standstill."

"Your forms a little complacent on strength and you can get sloppy when flustered…"

She pecked his lips with her own, interrupting his train of thought. She smiled warmly. "If I can swallow my pride enough to admit the worthiness of my opponent, you can too."

"Not happening." he smirked, returning her warm gaze.

"You're a giant man-child you know that?"

"No wonder Alfred likes you so much."

He paused, loosening her grip. Her smile still glowed in the dim lights overhead. "Shall we call it even then?"

"Absolutely not." he stated flatly, wrestling his wrist out of her grasp. He launched himself backwards before punching a command into his gauntlet, a bright light flashing from underneath the material. His smirk turned predatory as shimmering silhouettes materialized around them, their visages all looking vaguely familiar…

Wonder Woman had to gasp as she looked around her. No fewer than four Batmen stood eyeing her, fists poised and legs tense. Her brow furrowed as she poured over them, each Batmen unique in size and shape. She turned back to the original, a look of legitimate shock on her face.

"Take her." he commanded, stepping back into the shadows smirking. Wonder Woman's voice rang out through the cave.

"Bruce you exasperating…!" her diatribe was interrupted the bulky form of a hulking Batman colliding with her, his face contorted into a deep snarl. His massive shoulder's towered over her.

" **Go ahead punk, make my day."**

She dodged his powerful blow as it impeded itself into the ground behind her and plowed her legs into his chest, sending the behemoth hurtling out of the training area. His creaking form re-appeared next to her as he growled in her ear.

" **There are seven working defenses from this position. Three of them disarm with minimal contact. Three of them kill. This one just hurts…"**

To the attacker's surprise, she deftly dodged the incoming snap kick and vaulted over his head. Grabbing the back of his cape, she launched him head over heels towards the opposite end of the cave, his form barely missing the still smirking Bruce as he fiddled with his gauntlet controls.

She launched herself in a flying towards the downed Batman, only to feel piercing talons enclose around her ankle again. She felt herself sour upside down into the air as she met the crimson gaze of a demonic Batman, his sharp fangs glistening in the light of the approaching roof. She chuckled as it hissed at her.

"Nice try, but I can fly too, remember?" she bolted back towards the ground, dragging the vampiric Batman behind her. Angling herself at the ground, she kicked out her leg, sending the snarling monster hard into the cracking mat. It continued to hiss as it struggled to free itself from the crater.

Standing triumphantly over the downed beast, the metallic whirl of motorized joints caught her attention. She turned to face the marching form of a cybernetic Batman approaching her, a sinister canon aimed at her face.

" _Dead or alive, you're coming with me."_ it commanded, slowly moving towards her. She gave the real Batman a sarcastic glare as she slowly walked up to it…

…only to be enveloped in a blinding flash of electricity from the now smoking canon. She barely managed to dodge a slow moving fist from the cyborg as it continued.

" _Your move, Princess."_

Snarling, she delivered a hefty elbow to the attackers head, sending sparks and bits of rubbery flesh cascading from the wound. As she moved to deliver the finishing blow, the brick-like arms of the massive Batman clenched around her tightly, his sharp breath howling in her ear. The vampiric Batman launched at her legs with a shrill shriek, while the dazed cyborg latched onto her wrists, completely binding her under a mass of Batmen.

"Hold her down lads!" commanded a fourth voice. She gazed over the cyborg to see the final attacker bounding towards her, the loose fabric of his grey and blue costume blowing behind him. She couldn't help but smirk as she saw the painted on eyebrows of his mask as he reached into his bright gold utility belt, pulling out a large aerosol can.

"I'll hit her with my Bat-Amazon repellant spray! After that, we can leave her for the good folks of the GCPD and head on…"

His spiel was interrupted as Wonder Woman shook the cyborg free from her wrists, her fist pummeling into the face of the campy Batman in front of her. A vicious elbow dug into the brooding form of the one holding enveloping her, sending it crashing to the ground in a wheezing heap. A powerful punch to the top of the vampire's head dropped it hard to the mat; releasing her legs just enough to allow her to deliver a punishing kick to the dazed cyborg's head. All four Batmen sprawled on the ground, a cacophony of moans escaping from their lips. Diana merely stood in the middle, her chest heaving in exhaustion as her glare darted towards the still smiling Batman hidden in the shadows, his hands still typing into his gauntlets command port. With a blinding flash of light, the alternate Batmen disappeared, leaving the two alone in the cave.

"What in Hades name was _that_!?" she cried, her voice equal parts annoyed as she was curious. Batman's smirk never left his face as he stepped out from the shadows.

"Hard-light constructs I built from borrowed Lantern tech; it allows me to build and control projections of my own making from a distance. They're not the most durable, but I had to sacrifice structural integrity to remove the green glow…it's not really my style to stand out."

"You have the most messed up mind I've ever seen." She exclaimed, limping slowly towards Bruce. "I mean a vampire? Really?"

"It could happen." he deadpanned, closing the remaining distance between them himself. "You're a talking mound of clay with super powers. Vampires are hardly the most outrageous idea I've encountered."

"You forgot stunningly gorgeous in front of that _mound of clay_." She teased, relaxing her posture as they stood regaling in front of one another.

"I always thought that was implicit."

She shook her head and chuckled, before turning her gaze back towards him, her brow furrowed in confusion. "What was the _point_ of all that though? Other than trying to give me nightmares for the rest of my immortal life…"

Batman's face hardened, his cloak closing around his body again. "I wasn't…you're the most incredible fighter on the planet, I needed to devise something to push you to your absolute limit without having you worry about killing anyone."

"So this is all for me then? No one else gets to play with…uh, _you_?"

"No one else would survive it." he replied, his smile returning again. "It's like I'm fighting with Green Lantern's ring. If I can beat Superman with a suit of armour and a lamp-post, I can't imagine him standing up long to Bat-Kryptonian Repellant Spray…"

"But why are they all versions of you?" she asked chuckling, moving slightly closer to Batman's rigid form. He paused as he contemplated his response.

"Remember when I said there are certain things I'm not really good at? Well…my pride is…this was the best way I could come up with to tell you that you're the best at what you do, at what _we_ do. Far better than me." her face beamed as she stared into his eyes. "I guess in a weird sort of way, I'm telling you that I'd give anything to possess what you have. The drive, the skill…"

"The ability to look good in a bikini?"

"Who was just named the sexiest man on the planet again?" he smirked, gently brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. He pulled back as she chuckled again.

"This might be the cheesiest thing I've ever seen…"

"Well if you'd fight a bunch of Darkseid's in their underwear…"

He was interrupted as her lips smashed into his, drawing him in for a deep kiss. She broke it temporarily, purring as she slide back his cowl.

"It's also incredibly sweet…"

They locked lips again as the combat rooms lights dimmed, basking them in a blanket of darkness.

* * *

 **Apologies again for having to re-upload the chapter-nothing changed, just some problems on my end. Don't know if this will impact any reviews or not so...if they do, again, sorry.**

 **When you're not sure how to finish a combat/dialogue heavy chapter, just default to "have X fight Adam West", I guarantee nothing could possibly go wrong.**

 **Nothing at all...**

 **Anyways, this and Reign of Terror will take up most of my publishing schedule, so keep on reading on to enjoy the stunning adventures of one universe where things are lovey-dovey and another universe where Edgar Allen Poe became god. Fun stuff!**

 **Also response to CrazyPhenom's review, we've got a, as you said, an Airplane reference, a Dirty Harry reference that doubles as a Dark Knight Returns reference (which also includes a line taken directly from the comic, the whole "This one just hurts" little bit), a Vampiric Batman reference from "Batman & Dracula: Red Rain", a Robocop reference (because why not, right?), and of course, and Adam West reference, those four making up the different constructs Batman uses. I totally forgot about the William F Buckley line was in Public enemies too, but you're correct, that's one too. **

**Fun fact: one of the major inspirations for Cobra Commander was William F Buckley.**

 **The more you know...**


	3. The Golden Age

**I honestly have to say that I didn't really plan to update three chapters in three days, but when an idea pops into your head...well its just going to stay there until you write it out, ya dig?**

 **Anyways, thanks again for all the reviews and favorites; I'm glad to hear that you guys are enjoying the story so far! Like I said in the description (or maybe I didn't, I can't remember), each story will explore one aspect of their relationship, good or bad, in a way that's hopefully entertaining, interesting, and offers and introspective on why and how a brooding loner with PTSD and an Amazonian Princess with anger issues could come to love one another. There are bits and pieces of each story that play into one another, and you could view it as occurring in somewhat of a timeline (as I do have a direction planned for these otherwise directionless plots), so...yeah...enough drabble.**

 **Oh, and Reign of Terror will be updated soon, I was just in more of a comedic mood at the time of writing.**

 **And finally, DC still owns all these characters. Even the obscure ones from WWII...**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 _ **The Golden Age**_

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you almost looked cheery…" Diana teased, poking the amused Bruce Wayne in his side gently with her elbow. He returned her jab with a light one of his own, tearing his gaze from the powdery snow hitting the windows.

"I'm excited; I get to show you off to all these kids."

"So you admit you're boring without me then?" she rested her cheek on her hand as she smirked, enjoying every moment that she toyed with his ego. The billionaire merely chuckled.

"Maybe there's just a pesky nurse I want to stop from hitting on me. Nothing scarier than a jealous Amazon after all…"

"I don't need to be jealous if I can just fly you into the atmosphere and wait until you pass out…"

"May I hold you to that, Miss Diana?" interrupted Alfred from the front of the car, his eyes reflecting in the gleam of the rear-view mirror. "I'm sure debilitating stubbornness only goes as far as the upper stratosphere."

Bruce threateningly eyed his butler as Diana's giggle echoed through the padded car. "You're charting a dangerous course there Alfred…"

"Well by all means, strike me down Master Bruce. I'm sure Miss Diana will survive the impending automobile accident without so much as a scratch…"

Diana gently patted the distinguished Englishman's shoulder as she continued to laugh. "Now now Alfred, as much fun as it is to gang up on him, we can't leave him to flustered for the children can we?"

Alfred turned to meet her gentle gaze with his own, a sense of pride beaming from his aged face. "Wouldn't dream of it Miss."

The car lurched slightly as it pulled into the main parking lot of an imposing, Victorian home, whiffs of smoke rising from the chimney into the cool air. A thick blanket of snow covered the welcoming sign, leaving only the words _Wayne_ and _Orphanage_ visible. Alfred again gazed into the back as he slowed the car.

"As hard as it may seem considering his rather gruff exterior, this annual trip is one of the highlights of the year for both the children and the staff. I believe he saves up all his good will for this one day and leaves us to trudge through the proverbial mine field the remaining 364 days…"

"Please…" Bruce scoffed, taking Diana's hand as they exited the car. "It's only for the two hours I'm here. Once I'm back in this car, it'll be the same old curmudgeon Bruce."

"How thrilling…" drawled Alfred, leading the duo towards the building, "how we ever managed to get so lucky, I'll never know."

Bruce frowned, an insincere pout crossing his features. "Well maybe if you didn't threaten to send me into space I'd be a little more cheery…"

Alfred and Diana could only laugh as the doors to the orphanage opened, greeting them with an enveloping warmth as they entered. Alfred bowed his farewells as he gracefully slipped into the adjacent kitchen, while Bruce and Diana interlocked their hands. Following the sound of laughter and the rattle of toys, they pranced down the hall, a cheery spring in every step.

They rounded a corner, entering a large room, when a gentle voice called out to them…

"Look whose hear!" exclaimed the elderly social worker as Bruce and Diana entered the room. A cacophony of toys hitting the floor and excited screams echoed throughout the fire-lit room as children bounded towards him, their hands flung up to wrap around his crouched shoulders. A warm smile beamed from his face as he scooped up the nearest child.

"Awww, it's good to see you guys too. And my how you've grown Andrew!" he playfully rustled the dark brown hair of one of the eldest children, the billionaires kind eyes meeting those of the child. "You must be close to 12 years old now, huh?"

"Yes sir!" he declared proudly. "My birthday was just two weeks ago!" He paused for a brief second, rubbing his shoe into the ground sheepishly.

"Did you get me any presents?"

"Andrew!" the guardian cried, waving her finger disapprovingly. "Mr. Wayne only just got here. At least let him hang up his coat!"

"It's alright Mrs. Bringham." Bruce rose to his feet, the orange hue of the fire bouncing around his form. "I actually _did_ get him a present. And one for all of you as well…" he swept his hand over the cheering crowd with a toothy grin. "But first, I want all of you to meet someone _very_ special…"

Diana charmingly entered the room, her smile as wide as Bruce's, as the crowd of children gasped in shock.

"Wow, it's Wonder Woman!" one of them proclaimed, flailing his hands wildly in excitement.

"You're my hero Wonder Woman!" shouted another.

"You know Princess Diana?" asked Andrew, excitement lacing his every word. Diana chuckled as she stepped behind Bruce, casting a knowing wink to the gleefully twinkling elderly women.

"He does. He asked me to be his special guest for this evening." She glanced at Bruce, beaming. "I have to say I'm very honoured to be included."

The children swarmed them, each one shouting questions excitedly. A small girl emerged next to Wonder Woman's leg.

"How did you guys meet?" she asked innocently, glancing upwards at the towering adults. Bruce and Diana exchanged awkward glances.

"Well I…I mean we…uh" Bruce stumbled, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I rescued him." Diana answered, her hands poised on her hips. She smirked at Bruce's surprised reaction. "He was in a bit of trouble, and I rescued him. Then he fell head over heels for me. Isn't that right, _Brucie?"_ She chuckled as she stared into his eyes, daring him to contradict her with a better answer. He glanced at the ground consentingly.

"Oooo, what happened?" asked another child, his face lit up in anticipation.

"Yeah, tell us!" demanded Andrew.

Mrs. Bringham gently placed her hands on their shoulders as she appeared behind them.

"Why don't you two sit down by the fire and tell them your story, hmm? I'll go help the staff with the dinner; I'm sure it'll be a little while longer. Besides, I haven't gotten to say _hi_ to Alfred yet."

Here infectious smile rubbed off on the two heroes as she left the room, leaving them alone with a hoard of anxious children. Shrugging their shoulder's simultaneously, the walked towards the two cushiony chairs next to the fireplace. The flickering flames bathed them in light, while the cackle of the popping wood was barely audible over the excited clamour of the children. Bruce smirked as they sat down.

"Well Princess, why don't I let _you_ tell the story? Since you're the hero after all."

She shot him a piercing glare as she turned towards the rows of children, all sitting in front of her in anticipation. She cleared her throat roughly as she began.

"Well…you see, Bruce, I mean Mr. Wayne, was captured by some _very_ bad men…"

"Where they Nazi's?" interrupted Andrew.

"Why would that be your first…"

"Yes, they were Nazi's." confirmed Bruce with a teasing leer. "The biggest and baddest of them all!"

His smirk only increased at Diana's annoyed glare. "I believe you said _I_ was telling the story…"

"I believe it was Baron Blitzkrieg, if memory serves. A real rapscallion that one…"

" _Bruce_ …"

"What?" he shrugged innocently, "I was there too."

Diana sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose, increasingly aware of how much Bruce was enjoying the spectacle. She folded her hands neatly in her lap as she shot a final, warning glare towards the smirking Wayne, clearly telegraphing one message.

 _It's on…_

"Yes, it was Baron Blitzkrieg. He had Bruce bound on his operating table, completely immobile. Trapped. Sure to face imminent death, and soon!"

A smile returned to her face as she heard Bruce's pained groan…

…

…

…

"Vell Herr. Vayne, it appears zat I have you right vhere I vant you!" cackled Baron Blitzkrieg, his orange gauntlets rubbing together menacingly. "Vith ze aid of your vast fortune, my plans to take over ze verld vill soon come to fruition!"

Bruce grunted and struggled against his bindings, his sweat soaked dress shirt choking against his neck.

"I'll never help you Baron! I may be an outlandish Billionaire, but my heart is fully on the side of good!"

Baron Blitzkrieg's laugher increased as he approached the table, his menacing visage towering over the helpless billionaire.

"Ah but Herr. Vayne, I do not believe you vill have any choice in zee matter!"

A sinister drill descended from above the table, its rotating drill bit poised right over Bruce's sweating forehead. He glanced nervously at the colourful villain.

"D-do you expect me to talk?"

"No Mr. Vayne!" the Baron chuckled, "I expect you to die!"

The drill was nearly on the quivering billionaires head as the Baron laughed manically, until the walls of the complex rattled and quaked, a crashing _boom_ echoing from above. Suddenly, the floor caved in right next to the table, sending the drill careening off harmlessly to the side. The villainous foes gasped as the regal Wonder Woman stood before them.

"Wonder Woman, my hero!" exclaimed Bruce, his arms and legs still trembling. The mighty Amazon flashed him a reassuring smile.

"Don't worry Mr. Wayne, I'll have you out of there in a jiffy. I just need to deal with some _royalty_ first…"

Her glare met that of the Baron, his enhanced form trembling before he might…

…

…

…

"My hero?" asked Bruce incredulously. Diana responded with teasing sneer.

"What's the problem Mr. Wayne? Too prideful to admit you were saved by a woman?"

Bruce stroked his chin mischievously, his mind churning over an idea. His smirk returned in full force.

"Well, you weren't the only one there, remember?"

Diana's brow furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Yeah, who else was there?" demanded a child.

"Why…none other than the Batman of course…"

The crowd of children roared as Bruce's smirk grew to colossal proportions. The voices of the orphans swarmed them.

"I love Batman!"

"He's my favorite!"

"I want to be Batman when I grow up!"

Diana shook her head dismissively. "Batman was there?"

"Of course he was!" exclaimed Bruce in mock excitement. "Don't you remember?"

…

…

…

Wonder Woman faced off against Baron Blitzkrieg, her fists poised to rain down Amazonian punishment for his crimes. Suddenly, a column of troopers opened fire, forcing her into the defensive as she blocked their deluge of bullets with her bracelets. Bruce cried out from the table.

"He's getting away Wonder Woman!"

The Baron fled for the adjacent door, only to have the near-by wall explode in a violent blast, showering him in concrete and soot. He stood agape at the newly created hole as a figure emerged from it, his blue caped billowing out from behind him.

"Halt Baron! Your diabolical and destructive designs have reached their denouement, you nefarious ne'er-do-well!"

"Oh great Hera…" Wonder Woman palmed her forehead as her mighty fists dispatched the last of the Nazi troopers attacking her. She glanced at Batman as his fist struck out at the yellow suited villain.

"Look out Batman, he has super strength! You'll break your frail, mortal hands trying to punch him!"

Batman scowled as he turned towards Wonder Woman. "Not when I have my trusty Bat-Meta human combat gloves!"

He leveled a powerful fist into the Baron's face, causing him to stumble backwards into the wall. He rubbed his jaw as he rose back to his full height, eyeing Batman with a sinister stare.

"You can't hope to stop me Herr Batman, I am far stronger zan you could ever hope to be. If only you had ze incredible strength of Vonder Voman, perhaps you could stand a chance!"

"Really?" scowled Batman.

"I'll take it from here!" Wonder Woman shouted as she plowed into the Baron, sending him flying back towards the centre of the room. She stood victoriously over the downed foe as Batman rushed behind her.

"Look out Wonder Woman! He knows your one, highly exploitable weakness!"

"I don't have a weakness…" she deadpanned, only to be interrupted as a tendril of high-strength wire wrapped itself around her torso. She grunted as she fell to the floor.

"Feel…my strength…disappearing…what in Hade's name…"

"Wash your mouth out vith soap, Vonder Voman." chided the Baron as he rose from the crater, towering over the downed Amazonian. Batman vaulted towards him, his legs poised to strike.

"It's just you and me now Baron! Your malicious machinations will go on no more!"

"Ah but you have von highly exploitable veakness as vell _Dark Knight_!" the Baron rose sharply off the ground as Batman harmlessly sailed past him. He collided head first with a computer panel, sparks showering his bruised form. The Baron cackled wildly as he continued to rise into the air.

"The Bat may be grounded, but this eagle can still fly!" Wonder Woman called out as she leapt towards him, smashing her fists into the Baron's face. He plowed into the ground next to the still bound Bruce Wayne as she cheered.

"Yeah, you go Wonder Woman!"

"…so corny…" coughed Batman as he rose from the wreckage of the computer. The Baron jolted from his prone position and landed a heavy blow into Wonder Woman's stomach, sending her flying backwards. His laughter was cut short as Batman delivered a punishing roundhouse kick to his head, sending him flying towards the already damaged wall.

"Good hit Batman!" Bruce Wayne cheered.

Wonder Woman sneered as she rose, wiping a stream of sweat off her forehead. Batman popped his shoulder back into its socket as he swayed, chest heaving.

Except the injuries and exhaustion Batman showed was _clearly_ a rouse, allowing him to sneak behind the staggering Baron and deliver a powerful, nerve shattering punch to his neck.

"Thatta be Batman!" Bruce exclaimed.

And of course, Amazonians don't actually sweat, so it was very obvious to all observers present that the little misdirection she threw at the Baron was to allow Batman the time to escaping her heaving roundhouse kick, for his tiny mortal form would surely have been crushed by the blow had she not been so gracious as to be concerned for the powerless heroes safety.

"Excellent work Wonder Woman!" cried Bruce, still attached to his bonds.

Wonder Woman was clearly forgetting Batman's unparalleled agility however, which would have allowed him to easily side step the blow, misdirection or not. Indeed, as the villain tumbled past him, he deftly managed to attach a medium sized explosive to his back, the force of the detonation being more than enough to engulf the Baron in blinding pain…

"Hit him again Batman!" screamed Bruce, his throat becoming ragged from cheering on his favorite super hero so much.

Of course, Wonder Woman knew all too well that Baron Blitzkrieg's suit protected him against explosive debris and related trauma, meaning that it would only inconvenience the villain for the briefest amount of time before he rose again. If Batman wasn't such a stubborn, pig-headed male, he would have known that rapid and continuous blows, preferably from an Amazon, were the only way to ensure the Meta-human stayed down…

"You're amazing Wonder Woman!" fawned Bruce Wayne, his eyes pouring lustfully over her regal form.

Regal as she may be, Wonder Woman was nothing if not conceded, failing to realize that the exploitation of an enemy's weaknesses through a variety of gadgets and misdirection's were the quickest and most effective way to down a villain…

However in all his hubris, Batman's real problem was his inability to recognize the combat abilities of his allies, meaning Wonder Woman's far superior strength and speed would be more than enough to put down _her_ enemy…

Though where she got off calling out _his_ hubris…

And of course, his assessment of her being conceded was _certainly_ not the pot calling the kettle black…

She could be a real pain in the _derriere_ sometimes…

The _arrogant_ little…

 _Naïve_ little…

…

…

…

The children stared at the bickering couple timidly, unsure of what they were supposed to do. Bruce and Diana's hands flailed wildly as they passionately rotated between calling Batman various synonyms of _jerk_ , while Bruce retorted with an assessment of her own personality…from Batman's perspective, he stated.

"What happened to Baron Blitzkrieg?" whispered Andrew to another child, neither one of them taking their eyes of the spectacle in front of them as Wonder Woman threatened to drop Batman off a 40 story building with both his arms broken. The sharp clicking of polished shoes caught the attention of the nervous children as they turned to see Alfred enter the room.

"I believe it's time for dinner children…" he stated, glaring at the now standing Bruce and Diana as the billionaire shouted a defense of Batman's batarangs. The kid's faces lit up as they poured out of the room, clamoring for the first bites of the steaming turkey dinner laid out in the next room. Alfred approached the arguing couple.

"That includes _all_ children…"

They remained oblivious to the Englishman in front of him as Bruce painted an unflattering picture of an Amazonian shower room, nearly earning a slap from the fuming Princess. Alfred sighed.

"There's enough _ego_ in here to shame the House of Commons…" he deadpanned, turning on his heel to exit the room.

He rolled his eyes and sighed yet again as both Diana and Bruce shouted in unison…

"HOW ABOUT YOU REMOVE YOUR HEAD FROM YOU ASS!"

* * *

 **I'll be honest with you...the main idea for this chapter was based solely around my desire for there to be a Goldfinger reference...I honestly don't know why, but there it is.**

 **Hope you guys enjoyed the read (and that the whole "Two People Telling Conflicting Fake Stories" aspect didn't get too confusing and muddled), and I'll see you guys next time!**

 **Don't forget to let me know what you think! I appreciate every comment!**


	4. Double Date

**Well it took a while, but I finally managed to wash all the grunge off my ever blackening mind and put together another _Fair Verona_ chapter.**

 **And in the process, nearly ripped my wrist apart. Like...ow.**

 **Maybe I'm just a wimp, but I feel like wrists aren't designed to write 8000+ words in one night. Just ain't natural.**

 **Anyways, thank you all for the reviews and such, I hope you're all enjoying these little one shots! This one was actually pretty fun to write, so I hope you all enjoy!**

 **And as always, DC owns these people, their families, and their pets too.**

 **So...who's up for a rescue mission, hm?**

* * *

 _ **Double Date**_

 _ **Gotham City**_

"Alfred! Are you going to get the door!?" Bruce shouted as he thrust his copy of the _Gotham Tribune_ down into his lap, his baritone voice echoing through the halls of Wayne Manor.

"If I recall sir, you're seated merely ten feet from the door at present." came Alfred's reserved reply. "Unless that recliner has managed to break your back, I believe you're in a better position to answer it than I."

Bruce scowled as a second chime rang out. "Isn't this part of your job description?"

"I worry you're getting fat, sir."

Bruce grunted as he crumpled his newspaper, rising from the comfort of his cushioned chair with an audible sigh. "Cheeky fossil…"

"What was that, Master Bruce?"

Cursing his guardian for his apparent super hearing, Bruce shouted his reply down the adjacent hall as he trotted past. "I said that I'm docking your pay for insubordination."

"Then I'll be sure to buy the cheapest bandages I can find sir. Lest I starve to death."

A smile crept onto Bruce's face as he approached the door, a third chime ringing in his ears. He grasped the polished handles and opened the door, mid-afternoon sunlight pouring through the crack.

"…Kent?"

"Hey Bruce!" Clark smiled, sunlight glistening off the rims of his glasses. Bruce's fought to keep his face neutral despite his complete and utter surprise.

"You're… _here_ …at the manor…"

"Well you've solved the mystery, congratulations detective." Clark smirked in response. Bruce glanced at his watch before turning his gaze back towards the reporter in front of him.

"Did someone rip open the time-space continuum again? Because I could have sworn I said our reservations were for 6:30…"

Clark continued to beam. "Well Lois told me that she and Diana were going out on the town for a little bit beforehand, so I thought you and I could do the same."

"Sounds borderline carcinogenic…"

"That's not a 'no' though, is it?" the Man of Steel's smirk grew larger as he folded his arms over his chest. The light footfalls of Alfred echoed behind Bruce as the distinguished Englishman appeared just aft of his shoulder.

"Master Bruce, there's a Miss Macguire asking for you on line one…"

Bruce shuddered. "Tell her I'm out with a friend Alfred."

"Very good sir. Oh, good afternoon Master Kent!"

"Afternoon, Alfred." Clark's smile grew larger as Alfred retreated back into the manor. Bruce turned his gaze back towards Clark as his butler disappeared from sight.

"I guess I'm free after all…" he paused as he eyed Clark's toothy grin. "Why are you grinning like an idiot?"

"What, can't I be excited to hang out with my best friend?"

"This is me we're talking about…" deadpanned Bruce.

"Fair point," chuckled Clark as he readjusted his glasses, "honestly, I'm just happy to see how much good Diana's done for you. You're still an ass, but you haven't even _tried_ to pull out the kryptonite yet. It's almost like you're trying to act human."

"I just don't want a dead reporter on my front lawn," retorted Bruce with a small smirk, "we can only burry so many bodies in the yard before people start asking questions."

"See! That was almost a joke!" Clark beamed as he raised his hands in mock celebration. A thought briefly flashed across his mind, causing both his face and arms to drop in concern. "That _was_ a joke right?"

"What did you want us to do?" Bruce's arms crossed over his chest as his smirk remained.

"You didn't really answer the question…"

"Dinner's in five hours, do we really want to spend all of it on my front porch?"

"Right, gotcha." Clark rubbed his glasses on his sleeve as he pondered their choice of activities. "Well, there's bound to be _something_ we can do in Gotham, right? Don't you have a private box at Meadowlands Place?"

"I do…"

"Then why don't we catch a bit of the Gotham Giants game and then meet the girls at the restaurant?"

"You mean after you go home and change, right?" Bruce asked, eyeing Clark's fading blue suit incredulously.

Clark's narrowed his gaze, feeling slightly offended at the jab. "Why? What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

"The reservations are for _Un Lieu de Fantaisie_ Clark, not McDonald's…"

"We're seriously having an argument about my clothes?" Clark sighed, his face morphing into a childish pout.

"Yes we are. If you're going to eat high class, you're going to _look_ high class."

Clark shook his head in bewilderment. "See, this right here is why Joe's like me hate rich people…"

"Trust me boy-scout, I'm saving you a lot of future pain. If you think I'm vicious…"

"Do we really have time for this?"

"Stop whining. And yes, we do. There's a store in downtown that owes me a favour or two…"

Clark tried to drag his heels defiantly as he protested. "Lois and Diana will be waiting for us…"

A large smile broke out on Bruce's face as he unfolded his arms, his hand deftly resting on Clark's shoulder. "I'll let them know to meet us here at 6:00. Kent, you and I _both_ know that the girl's know how to keep themselves busy in the meantime…"

…

…

…

 _ **Metropolis**_

"I don't get the allure of baseball…" stated Wonder Woman as a splintering baseball bat soured harmlessly over her head. A loud grunt escaped from the lips of the would-be attacker as her powerful fist dug into his gut.

"I've always been more of a hockey-girl myself." replied Lois as she scribbled furiously into her note-pad, her arms leaning against the railing of the elevated fire escape she was perched on. "It's like boxing on ice…guy with a crowbar coming from your left."

Diana caught the weapon mid swing and yanked it out of the gruff man's hand, her foot crashing hard into his temple with a sweeping kick. She flung the captured crowbar at the head of another charging attacker, the sound of metal meeting skull echoing through the alleyway.

"Thanks. You getting everything you need from up there?"

"Yep, though if you keep this up I could probably give the police these guys blood type too. I'm counting fifteen guys down so far…"

"Slow afternoon…" Wonder Woman deadpanned as she hurled an unconscious biker head-first into another one. Both men collapsed into a pile of leather and bruises.

"Which one of your gods blessed you with overflowing confidence?" Lois joked. A stone crashed into the wall just above her head, causing her to duck as tiny fragments of rock and brick rained onto her. She scowled at the chain-covered man below her.

"Trust me bozo, you're a lot safer with me up here!"

Before the man could respond, he suddenly found himself face to face with a smirking Amazon, her raven hair flowing in the gentle breeze. He stumbled backwards in shock.

"Granted, you're not very safe down here either. Do you want to knock yourself out, or should I?"

Stuttering in terror, the man stood paralyzed as his eyes remained frozen on Wonder Woman. Merely a second later, he smashed his face hard into his own baseball bat, tumbling to the ground in an unconscious heap. Diana's smirk grew.

"Probably the best decision you've made all day…"

Lois slid down the fire escape, landing roughly on the ground with a grunt. She walked next to Wonder Woman, the Amazon's hand poised on her hip. "Good thing he was wearing yellow pants…"

Diana's gaze drifted over the patchwork of bruises towards a rusted steel door, its lock surrounded by scorch marks. Her brow furrowed as she approached it. "Any idea what this building is?" she asked Lois.

"I think it's a gun store…" she replied, leaning next to an unconscious thug. Wonder Woman turned quickly to face her, a look of confusion spreading over her face.

"Metropolis has gun stores?" she asked skeptically.

"Yep. I think we might actually have almost as many as Gotham…"

"You're kidding…" Diana folded her arms over her chest as she drifted towards Lois.

"Nope, dead serious."

"The cleanest city on the East Coast…"

"Has a huge gun fetish, yep."

Diana shook her head as she let out a disgruntled sigh. "That might be the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

"I know, it's like they've never heard of the _speeding bullet_ line or something…" Lois responded as she continued to scribble into her notepad. She ripped off a dull yellow page and tucked it into the unconscious biker's hand before rising to her full height, her pen still dangling from her hand. Her gaze poured over the litter of bodies as her brow furrowed.

"I have a gut feeling that this isn't just a simple break-in…"

"You might be on to something…" Diana stated as she bent down towards one of the thugs. She pulled back the crest of his shirt, revealing a small skull and bones tattoo etched into his collarbone. "All these men have the same tattoo in the same location…it looks like a gang marking…"

"It is." replied Lois. "The _Jolly Rogers_ , small time gang that ran a protection racket a few months ago. Led by a guy named _The Teach_ , or at least they were until a tip-off from a certain intrepid reporter helped Turpin and his men corner him in his own bar one night."

"Can't imagine who that heroic reporter must be…" Diana jeered as she rolled the biker on his side.

"Well I'm too modest to brag but…"

"I'm guessing they fractured after this _Teach_ guy was put away?" she interrupted, rising again next to Lois.

"Sort of, at least they haven't been active in almost half a year. Most of the young one's were just looking for a thrill ride; they took off for their parent's basement again as soon as _Teach_ was convicted. But the older guys and the kids who used the gang to support their families stuck around."

"You should have hung his head in front of their bar then." Wonder Woman smirked sarcastically. Lois chuckled as she shook her head.

"You've got one dark sense of humour Amazon…"

"So they say." She glanced back at the scorched door. "Looks like someone wants a reunion complete with a store-full of stolen guns."

"These guys are pretty minor league, and Metropolis doesn't exactly have an organized crime problem."

"All the more reason to lay low and work through proxies, right?"

Lois smiled as she quirked her head. "Sounds about right to me. You're starting to sound like a detective there Diana."

"I picked up a few things." Wonder Woman returned Lois's beaming smile with her own. She mulled over their collected evidence in her head. "Looks like you and I have a mystery backer on our hands."

"Then we'll need to start phase two of the investigation." Lois answered gleefully as she roughly stepped on the stomach of a now-conscious, and violently squirming, Jolly Roger gang member. The heel of her shoe dug into his gut as Wonder Woman walked next to her, eyeing the man with a predatory glare as she unraveled her lasso.

"I think you might be right, Lois. Time for a little _interrogation_ , Amazon-style…"

…

…

…

"This place owes you a _favour_?"

"Or two." Bruce leered as he led the Man of Steel into the store. Clark suspiciously glanced around the extravagant lobby.

The walls were adorned with portraits of various dignitaries, socialites, and otherwise famous individuals wearing glamorous gowns and suits. Newspaper clippings raved about the quality of each article of clothing, and awards lined the rows of display cases surrounding them, their wood polished to a fine shine. Sunlight streaked through painted windows onto the sample dresses and tuxedos perched proudly in their glass cases, the blinding hue painting the lobby like a vast cathedral and giving the clothing an almost angelic glow.

 _A very, VERY expensive, angelic glow_ …Clark grumbled to himself as he stared at Bruce's floppy grin. It wasn't the kind of smirk he used to use for the dopey playboy routine, the kind that Diana had so graciously rendered obsolete.

No, this was the grin Bruce only got when he mercilessly tortured Clark.

"Ah Bruce darling, so glad you're here!" a shrill sound emanated from around a corner as a short, black haired woman emerged into view. A pair of large, round glasses sat precariously on her stubby nose, the frame bouncing up and down with every exaggerated step. Clark swore she looked like an alien…

"Edna! Thank you so much for seeing us at the last minute." Bruce beamed, a highly restrained playboy image calmly surfacing. "I figured I'd take you up on your _fashion emergency_ offer."

"Oh no trouble, no trouble at all darling. I'm here to serve." The short woman stopped in front of Clark, her eye's gauging him. "This must be the accessory."

"Excuse me?" Clark asked, his face contorting in shock. Bruce stepped next to them.

"E, this is Clark. Clark, Edna's the best fashion designer in the country. Probably the world even."

" _Probably_?" Edna's hand's rose to her chest in mock insult. "There's no need to be modest darling, everyone else might as well have tree stumps for hands compared to me." She turned her gaze back to Clark, eyeing him inquisitively.

"Hmm, strong jaw, good build, nice eyes if you took those behemoths off your face…you could be a male model if you didn't have the swagger of a doofus…"

"Uhm…thanks?" Clark rubbed the nape of his neck awkwardly as he turned to Bruce. "Look, Bruce, I'm pretty sure that this suit is fine for tonight…"

"It's a hobo suit darling, you can't be seen in this! I won't allow it!" Edna interrupted, throwing her hands into the air in disgust. "We'll need to start from scratch. Come, come, follow me. We'll start with measurements. If there's really a God out there I might almost make you presentable."

She bounded down the polished hall on stilted legs while Clark stood next to Bruce, bewildered and moderately offended. They followed after her as Clark turned to the man beside him.

"I'm starting to see why you like this place so much…"

"Why's that?" he asked as they rounded a corner, a large fitting room spread out before them.

"Come on Bruce, it's like a tag-team of insults here."

"Maybe you're just a lightning rod for this sort of then, huh _doofus_?"

"Stop enjoying this." Clark protested as he stood in the middle of a set of mirrors. Edna forcefully ripped the blue suit from his relaxed arms as she heaved it into a large garbage pail.

"Uhm, I might need that back…"

"Hush darling, this is Edna's domain." With blinding speed she zipped across Clark's bulky form, her measuring tap flying over his limbs. Standing next to the still perplexed Man of Steel, she craned her neck towards Bruce.

"Alright darling, what kind of suit do you think we need?"

Clark's hand rose as he diverted the group's attention to him. "Well, if Bruce insists on this being as fancy of a dinner as possible, why don't we get something like a tailcoat?"

"No tailcoats."

Clark's brow furrowed. "Isn't that my decision?"

Edna eyed him threateningly. "Do you remember Craig T. Nelson? Tall, powerful voice…nice man, good with kids."

"I…"

"November 15th, all was well, another successful charity auction…until his coat dragged over the flames of the banana foster!"

Clark attempted to protest. "Craig was not exactly the smartest…"

"Brad Bird!" Edna loudly interrupted, "April 23rd, his coat tails were caught in his hotel door, ripping the entire back end of his suit clean off!"

"You can't generalize something like that from just…"

"John Walker, express elevator! Jason Lee, carried an entire roll of toilet paper into the Oscars! Stan Lee, pulled off by rabid Marvel fan! No tailcoats!" Clark could hear a low chuckle from Bruce as Edna's rant ceased, her small form huffing in exhaustion next to his leg. His mouth hung agape, unsure of what to say next, when Bruce's deep voice pierced the silence.

"Just do whatever you can to bring out his manly features, Edna."

Her eyes glanced over his form once again. "Hmmm, we'll need far bigger shoes to do that…"

"This is what hell is like…" Clark deadpanned. "Somehow I died, and I'm being punished…"

Bruce's laugh grew in volume as he walked next to the bewildered Clark Kent. "Take it easy Kent, we're just messing with you."

"I used to be twice as hard on him darling." Edna stated, her eyes still trained on the large notepad she held in her hands. "I've known him for over 20 years, he's like the rich, spoiled neighbor boy I never had. Needed to tease him, of course, he deserved it with that silly little attitude he tried to pass off as authentic. I only let up because of his wonderful girlfriend. Diana Prince, she's an absolute godsend darling, an absolute godsend."

"Hmm, no arguments there." Clark grunted as he stepped off the stool, "I don't think I've ever seen Bruce joke this much before."

"Oh it's far more than that darling, far more than that." Edna threw the notepad down as she turned to face the two men. "I've dealt with socialites for my entire career, so I know when someone's putting up a false face. I could see through Bruce here like he was prancing around naked. So unhappy, so bitter, so full of anguish and fear. But then, the moment he told me about Diana, my god darling I could see the mask peel right off. I've never felt like I fully thanked her for making Bruce human, and I don't think I ever will."

"It's one reason why I insisted on you getting a new suit for Lois. I know she's done as much for you as Diana has for me." Bruce stated warmly, his hand finding Clark's shoulder again.

"Aw, you getting all sentimental on me?"

Bruce's vicious smirk returned. "Not fully. I also wanted to see you squirm."

"I'm not doing that bad."

"Just wait until you see the bill."

Clark swallowed hard as Edna appeared behind them. "Yes yes, it's very heartwarming darling, but I have work to do. Now shoo, your new suit will be ready in a few hours."

Both men smiled as they left the room, turning into the blinding sunlight as they headed for the lobby's waiting area.

"What do you think they're up to right now?" Clark asked, keeping pace with the clicking shoes of Bruce.

"Don't know boy-scout. But whatever it is, I'm sure they're having _almost_ as much fun as us."

…

…

…

"We want names, crap-for-brains!" shouted Lois, her finger pointing threateningly at the captured biker in front of them. He huddled in the corner, shivering violently as the cooling Metropolis air rushed past his naked form.

"W-why aren't you using your lasso?" he stuttered, his teeth chattering both from the cold and the utter fear sitting heavily in his gut. The smirk Diana gave him did little to alleviate the terror pulsing through him.

"Because we're willing to let you show us that, deep down, you're actually a good person who's going to give up the name of your boss without coercion." She stated flatly, though her grin remained on her face. "We're just a couple of softies willing to save your soul."

"I-I honestly don't know anything…I-I I'm just a low level guy! I swear!"

Both Diana and Lois tisked as they eyed the man disapprovingly, their arms crossed over their chest like two disciplinarians. Lois leaned forward slightly towards the cowling biker.

"Well I hope you're not self-conscious of your appearance then, because it'll be a long flight to the police station."

"And I'll have to make sure I fly extra low too." Wonder Woman leered. "I'd hate to have you slip out of my hands and end up as street pizza right in the middle of rush hour…"

"Maybe you're one call should be to your mother." Lois suggested. "Just in case a TV camera or cellphone tapes you in all your exposed glory."

"Th-this ain't legal!" the biker protested, still desperately trying to cover his indecent spots in the shadows of the alleyway. "I-I got rights, you know!"

"We're not holding you against your will." Countered Wonder Woman. "You could leave any time you want. I'm sure you'll only get charged with indecent exposure…at first."

Lois stepped forward slightly, her heels clicking on the rough gravel spread over the pavement. "We could use the Lasso of Truth too, since we've gone to all this trouble just to get you here. But Wonder Woman tells me that it hurts. Like. A. _Bitch_."

The convict's eyes darted nervously around him as he weighed his options, his mind racing to find some out that protect his boss and his dignity. The two women in front of him continued to eye him with icy glares and suffocating confidence, leaving the shivering man to further ball up as his otherwise pleasant day came crashing in around him. In a flash, he made his decision, bounding upwards in a plea for mercy.

"Alright I'll tell ya I'll tell ya! Just no lasso's an' no naked flights, alright? I'm doin' this of my own free will!"

"Noted." Wonder Woman stated in a neutral tone. "Start talking."

"I'm protected though, right? Y-you won't go around tellin' people that I'm snitch or nothing?"

"Only if you stop stalling." Lois scowled as she stepped next to him, her piercing glare burrowing into his eyes. The biker gulped audibly as he stepped further into the afternoon light.

"We work for this old guy from Gotham. S-says he's gonna start up in Metropolis and start up an underworld empire. Guy needed some muscle, s-so he hired us. W-we just need some guns and stuff…"

"A name would be nice…" Wonder Woman pressed harshly as she palmed her lasso. The biker's eyes widened.

"S-sal Valestra! The guy's name is Salvatore Valestra!"

"Valestra?" Lois rubbed her chin as her mind churned. She turned towards Wonder Woman. "You ever heard of this guy before?"

"A few times. Apparently he was a powerful mob boss back before the Gotham underworld got turned inside out. Though…I thought he was killed by the Joker more than a decade ago…"

"Guess not. Unless we're dealing with a ghost…"

"He'd be a pretty stupid ghost if I tried to break into a gun store." Diana snorted. He caught the awkward glare of Lois as her smile slowly vanished. "You know…because ghosts can just walk through walls."

"Yeah, no I got it."

"Not funny?"

"Don't quit your day-job Amazon…" Lois scoffed, a slight smirk forming as Diana awkwardly kicked at the ground. The still shivering biker inched forward timidly.

"C-can I go now?"

Wonder Woman's arm shot out in front of his, pushing him back into the shadow's lightly as she stepped forward, her face all business again. "Not yet. We need a location, _then_ you can go crying back home to mommy."

"W-who says I got a mommy?" he stammered, rubbing his bare arms furiously.

"Really? It was the dad I was skeptical about…"

"Hah! See, _that_ was a good one Di!" Lois chuckled, earning a proud smile from the Amazon warrior. The biker shook his head, wanting desperately to be anywhere but the cold, dark alleyway he was currently.

"Alright alright, I'll tell ya, j-just promise to let me go, please?"

"He did say please…" Diana shrugged her shoulders as both she and Lois approached the man.

"Sal's somewhere at the dock's. I don't know where but…it's somewhere in the old, rundown part. Where we get our shipping from Bludhaven and stuff."

Diana and Lois glanced at each other approvingly as their arms fell to their sides. Simultaneously, large smirks appeared on their faces in a way that made the biker start shaking all over again. He stammered out of the shadows again.

"C-can I go?"

"Of course," Diana said warmly, "you've been _extraordinarily_ helpful."

"D-do I get my clothes back?"

Lois chuckled. "What do we look like, savages? You're clothes are around the corner, safe and sound with that lovely police officer sitting in her cruiser."

The biker's mouth hung agape as his haze darted back and forth between Lois and Diana, a look of confusion and hurt pulsing from his eyes. He swore under his breath as Diana sauntered on her hips.

"Well if you don't want them, I'm sure that garbage lid will…"

The man took off before she could finish her sentence, his naked body bounding down the alley into the piercing light of the Metropolis streets. Shrill screams followed a cacophony of laughter as he bounded down the sidewalk out of sight, followed closely by the piercing shriek of a police siren. Diana and Lois gleamed at each other as Lois pulled out her notepad.

"I am _so_ getting that Pultizer…"

"Ready to catch us an ancient mob-boss?" Diana asked.

"You're goddamn right I am!" Lois exclaimed as she pointed to her sleek, blue car. "I'll drive; that way we can _fly_ under the radar…"

Diana groaned as she palmed her forehead. "Merciful Minerva, I thought _my_ jokes were bad…"

…

…

…

"Getting tired of people telling you happy they are for you?" Clark asked, sipping at the steaming cup of coffee balanced in his hand. Bruce smiled in response as he placed his own cup into the build-in holder on the chair, his eyes dancing over the completely empty and silent glowing lobby.

Alone, they could discuss their private lives far more confidently than at a restaurant or café; in the isolated silence of the closed store, they could be themselves with little worry. And for the first time in nearly three decades, Bruce was more than willing to do that.

"I did, for a while anyway. But that was when I was still trying to come to terms with being happy. It's…it's a weird feeling to have when you've been living under a self-imposed darkness for most of your life."

"I'm just thrilled to see the human Bruce Wayne more frequently. Even if you're still a manipulative bastard."

Bruce chuckled as Clark brought his steaming cup to his lips again. "All the combat training I get with her sure helps too. In…more ways than one…"

Clark's eyes widened as he eyed Bruce, his glasses steaming up from the suspended liquid at his lips. "Uh…what do you mean?"

Bruce's booming laugh echoed through the lobby, startling the Man of Steel slightly. "God you're so innocent Kent, you know that?" Another laugh escaped his throat as Clark stared unendingly.

 _I don't think I like it when he laughs…_ he murmured to himself. _It's going to give me nightmares for the rest of my life…_

"You know what really surprises me though? What I never expected to do?" Bruce asked, shifting in his seat slightly in order to face the Man of Steel next to him.

"I bet it had nothing to do with _not_ scaring the beejebers out of your friends…"

"Did you just use the word _beejebers_ and _not_ end up choking on your own five year old tongue?"

Clark shuffled awkwardly. "…I thought that was in my head…"

"Anyways…" Bruce rolled his eyes as he lay back in his highly cushioned chair. "I always thought that, if I ever really settled down with someone, that I'd do everything to ensure they had a normal, private life. No Bruce Wayne nonsense, none of that…other baggage to worry about, I'd just…ferry them off to an uncharted island and make sure they were untouchable. It was the only way I'd be sure they'd be safe."

"I'm shocked that you could never hold down a date, Bruce." Clark teased, another smile creeping onto his face as he earned a wrathful glare from the man next to him.

"I'll lace you're meal with kryptonite Kent, I swear to god I will…"

"Of course you will…"

"Anyways…yeah, that's one of the _many_ reasons why I was more than prepared to be alone for the rest of my life. But then Diana came along…and my god, if I'm not the proudest boyfriend in the entire world."

"Huh, that's actually a little adorable." Beamed Clark. He was sure that the smile plastered on his face would be permanent from here on out, his entire kryptonian form warmed at the prospect of Bruce shedding his dark layers and being the kind, gentle person Diana always bragged about…

"Say anything to anyone else and I'll detonate a kryptonite grenade in your colon…"

 _Well so much for that warm and fuzzy moment…_

"No, with Diana…there's nothing I'd rather do than show her off to the world. Not for me, not for my reputation. No, nothing like that. I mean that I think she deserves all the admiration and praise in the world for what she does, and I won't rest until everyone knows just how amazing of a woman she is."

"If she can turn a curmudgeon like you into a lovestruck puppy, I'm sure everyone is well aware of how incredible she is. Clark chuckled, taking another sip of his coffee.

"It's not just that Clark, I mean…look at what she does. She's an Amazonian warrior who's fought to defend a world that's held her and her kind down for centuries without a second thought, even when it brings down the wrath of _gods_. She's an emblem of peace that travels the world, righting wrongs and empowering the weak. She's an incorruptible role model who…"

"Looks _great_ in a swimsuit."

"If I could punch you without shattering my hand in ninety different places, I would." Bruce scowled, resulting in another hearty chuckle from Clark. The Man of Steel smiled warmly back at him.

"Does she have this much fun pushing your buttons?"

"Heh, yeah…all the time…" he responded with a smirk of his own, his head leaning gently on his fist. "That's the other thing about her; she's the strongest, most dedicated, and most driven person I know. Probably the only one in the entire world who can stand toe-to-toe with the _both_ of us without so much as breaking a sweat."

"Physically or mentally?"

"For me, mentally. She'd have tenure at an Ivy League university in _months_. For you, physically."

"N'ah." Clark protested, allowing his juvenile side to playfully emerge again. "I think I could take her."

"Nope. No way in hell Clark."

Clark bent over, an offended look adorning his face. "What makes you so sure?"

Bruce's grin grew wider and wider as he stared Superman down, drawing closer to his face. "Easy. She's been training with me. And I could kick. Your. Ass. _Hard_."

"Two word's _detective_. Upper. Atmosphere. You'd have passed out before I'd even let you reach into that plot-device of a belt you have."

Both men laughed as they sank back into their chairs, their faces beaming almost as brightly as the light streaking into the ornate lobby. Clark lightly patted Bruce on his shoulder.

"It really is great to see how happy Diana's made you."

"I could say the same about Lois, Clark. I guess I'm just finally willing to admit it."

"Yeeeeeaah, Lois is pretty great too. Strong. Smart. Drop-dead gorgeous. I don't think anyone else could keep me grounded or remind me why I fight. She's the strongest person I know…"

"She's my contingency plan for you."

Clark sat up slightly as he gazed over at Bruce, confusion again returning to his face. "What?"

"For if you ever went rogue. I'd just sick Lois on you. You'd curl up in a ball and have the entire mess cleaned up before she could even finish chewing you out."

Clark doubled over as laughed pour out of his throat, a chuckling Bruce lightly patting him on the back. When he finally composed himself, Clark playfully punched his friend in the shoulder.

"I guess we both have someone pretty great who can bring out the best of us."

"Yeah, that we do…that we do…" Bruce sighed as he stretched his arms behind him. "Of course, it just shows how much better I am…"

"Oh give me a break!" laughed Clark, smacking the man upside his head. Bruce swung back, his hand pushing Clark's glasses further down his nose as his smirk grew in size…

Until both men sheepishly stared at the annoyed form of Edna, Clark's suit draped lazily over her arms.

"If you two children are doing making out, your suit is complete."

Bruce glanced at his watch. "Not bad, we still have about an hour to spare."

"Of course you do darling, I'm a goddess after all." Edna waved her hand dismissively as Clark took the suit from her grasp. Timidly, he reached for the price-tag, bracing himself for the expected shot to his gut…

Clearly, he didn't brace himself enough.

He chocked loudly as he stared in horror at the price tag, millions of different swear words, both human and kryptonian in origin, swirled through his mind. Edna only glared at him impassively.

"Art does not come cheap, darling."

"I didn't realize I bought the Taj Mahal…"

Bruce slapped Clark on his back as he stared approvingly at Edna. "Just remember Clark, it's for Lois."

"I'm dead…" he shook his head dejectedly, still eyeing the never ending string of zeroes, "she's going to kill me, then clone me, and kill all my clones…"

"This sounds like a lovely woman." Deadpanned Edna as she stepped up to the register. Clark shuffled towards it, his eyes still glossing over.

"The Kryptonian race is about to go extinct…"

…

…

…

It was a brilliant plan, Lois thought to herself.

Everything they had managed to learn about Salvatore Valestra pointed to him being old, decrepit, and more than likely desperate for any thug he could get his hands on. So, the best thing to do would be to shock them, right from the onset, and hope that they'd realize how futile a fight it would be for them. They'd lay down their arms, she'd take down every heroic action her and Wonder Woman, and they'd both thank each other at the award ceremonies.

Not that they wanted awards or anything. A civil deed was nothing if not a soul cleansing experience.

And besides, hanging out with Wonder Woman was a hell of a lot of fun. She'd have to do it more often.

With that warming though, Lois burst into the warehouse, her hands defiantly placed at her hips as she stared down the bewildered Jolly Roger thugs.

"Alright slime-balls, we'll give you one chance and one chance only to throw down your weapons peacefully. After that…well I don't think we can guarantee your safety."

The thugs exchanged confused looks with each other, before the one closest to her broke the awkward silence.

"Uh…whadd'ya mean _we_?"

Lois's brow furrowed. "We…as in myself and…" she glanced over her shoulder, only to see an empty space where Wonder Woman was supposed to be standing.

 _Oh that lousy, good for nothing…._

She turned back towards the rows of thugs as they began to chuckle and whistle, their sweaty bodies moving closer to her with a sickening swagger.

"Well well well, looks like you're a couple prayers short, sweat heart." One of them cooed, flicking a blade towards his face.

"As much as I'd hate to scratch up a fine piece of ass like yours, you've caught us at a bit of a bad time." Another approached with a swinging chain, a repugnant grin plastered on his tattooed face. Lois readied her fists in front of her.

"Ready to die girly?"

"Maybe." Lois responded indomitably. "But I'm taking at least four of you clowns with me…"

Suddenly, the roof caved in as streaks of red, blue and gold plummeted from the sky. Hunks of concrete and metal smashed into the heads of the staggered thugs while Wonder Woman landed hard onto the back of an unfortunate biker standing right under her.

"Damn hero entrances!" shouted Lois as she launched a powerful jab into the back of a distracted man's head.

"Come on Lois, you didn't think I'd actually abandon you?"

"Could've given me some warning Di, that's all I'm saying." Lois flung an elbow into the gut of a hunched over biker, eyeing the rest of them as they condensed around Wonder Woman. Diana's smirk was visible even across the room.

"Dramatic entrances are rule number one of being a super hero." She teased as her powerful roundhouse kick took out three thugs at once. "I've got these guys; you keep an eye of for Valestra."

Lois nodded, wincing as a powerful strike from Wonder Woman launched a hapless thug hard into three of his allies. She caught the visage of an upstairs office out of the corner of her eye, the most likely place for a mob boss like Valestra to be hiding. She bounded over towards a brightly marked ladder, deftly avoiding the flying body of an unconscious goon as he soared into a near-by wall.

Wonder Woman gave one last passing glance towards Lois as she ascended the ladder, immediately diverting her attention back to the hoard of Jolly Roger gang members charging at her. She smirked at their simplistic tactics, going straight for a mad rush instead of luring her into traps with their superior numbers. She grasped a hold of a large crate and heaved it at the approaching columns of thugs. Those lucky enough to avoid the tumbling mass were showered with splinters as it exploded on the hard warehouse floor. Those unfortunate enough to be caught in its path were knocked out cold by its massive weight.

Shocked, confused, and more than a little scared, the remain thugs were oblivious to the flash of red, gold and blue as it plowed into their ranks, her crimson boots striking the legs of two men stumbling away from the mighty Amazon. Her elbow caught the nose of a third attacker behind her while her hand seized the man's wrist, hurtling him over her head and into the torso of another gang member in front of her. A vicious haymaker sent another thug flying in an unconscious heap of bruises and broken bones, scattering any near-by thugs. Wonder Woman smirked with a predatory glare as the Jolly Rogers still standing quivered, frozen in place. She whipped out her lasso as she continued to stare them down.

"I think surrendering would be a smart decision…" she said.

Lois meanwhile had managed to sprint across the upper floor of the warehouse, sneaking occasional peaks over the railing at the battle below. She eyed the tinted windows of the office as she sped closer, the clacking of her heels drowning out the sound of her laboured breathing.

 _Alright…..maybe…I'm not in…as good of shape…..as I thought…damn immortal Amazons….._

She stopped dead in her tracks as a panicked Sal Valestra stumbled out of the office, his greying hair a flustered mess over his drenched forehead. He didn't look nearly as old as she figured, for someone who had spent so much time underground anyways, but she could tell that his golden years had long since passed.

He was still about as dangerous as an old geezer could get though…

"Hold it Sal!" Lois commanded, pointing her finger threateningly towards him. "Whatever this overly complicated and convoluted scheme you've cooked up is, it ends here!"

Sal's gaze shot towards Lois as he turned abruptly on his heel. He eyed her for a brief second as if he was seizing her up.

"You? You're going to stop me?" he wheezed, caught between a stifled laugh and a chest wracking coughing fit.

"Fraid so…"

Sal whipped out a gun from underneath his jacket and pointed it at the unflinching Lois, the pained wheezing noise escaping from his nose increasing in volume.

"Right, you and what army lady?"

A golden whip lashed itself around the barrel of his gun, his old frame jumping in surprise as it enveloped his gun. He cried in pain as his wrist was wretched to the side, his gun roughly pulled from his grasp up into the air. Staggered, his eyes darted to the floating figure next to him.

"She doesn't need an army. She's got _me_."

"Oh, real nuanced Di…"

"You…I know you!" Sal stumbled backwards as he stared at the Amazon before him. "What the hell are you doing _here_?"

Diana shrugged innocently. "Just hanging out with a friend. Having a good time and all that."

"Gotta say, beating the snot out of your boys-club over here sure beats my usual Friday." Lois added, approaching the now disarmed mob boss with a jeering smile.

"You both don't scare me…" Sal stood his ground, facing down both the approaching women. "I've faced things that neither of you could even comprehend."

"Batman's not that hard to figure out…" interjected Diana, ignoring Valestra's widening eyes. "I mean, once you get passed the attitude and everything…"

"Besides," added Lois, "we're not here to scare anybody."

"Exactly. You're small fry Sal, you're time in the sun is looooong over. All those desperate people down there that you weaseled together, playing off their despair, their loneliness…we don't need to scare them, we just need to show them that there's another, better option waiting for them."

"Which may or may not include avoiding having their teeth kicked through the back of their skull." Lois added for emphasis.

"Point is, they're gone. You're back to nothing, Sal. Back to being an old, sad skeleton of a man who couldn't muster up an Empire if he inherited it from his parent's deathbed."

"Why don't you just punch me in the gut and save me the antiquated 'you suck' speech?" Sal spat, clenching his fists in rage. Diana only laughed in response.

"I can't punch you; I'd rip right through your skull!"

" _I_ on the other hand…" Lois sprinted towards Sal, his sickly skin paling as she drew nearer; he backed hard into a corner, desperate crawling away from the charging woman in front of him…

Only to feel a warm set of fingers pinch him on the nape of his neck. Without even a whimper, he collapsed into Diana's arms, completely unconscious.

"Something else I picked up." She smirked.

Lois surveyed the scene around them, nodding her head in approval. "Not bad Di, not bad at all. You and I make a pretty badass team…"

"What's the saying, 'damn right'?"

"Yep," chuckled Lois, pounding her fist into Diana's. "I'd say you got it."

Suddenly a shrill beeping echoed from Lois's watch, both of their eyes widening as they darting towards her wrist.

"Shit! We're late!"

Diana glanced at the metal ceiling, the waning orange light of the setting sun seeping through its new, gaping hole. She thrust her arms out towards Lois.

"Grab on, I can fly us there in under twenty minutes."

Lois eyed her incredulously. "Grab onto what, Di? You're wearing a swimsuit…"

"I have arms, you know…"

"Yeah, uncovered arms. If they get sweaty or something…"

"Amazon's don't sweat."

Lois sighed, kicking off her heels as she grabbed onto Diana's outstretched arms.

"Fine, but if I fall, I'm going to haunt you for the rest of your immortal life…"

…

…

…

Both Clark and Bruce paced the driveway of Wayne Manor nervously, much to the displeasure of Alfred. He had long since given up trying to warn them about wearing through the soles of their shoes; instead he retreated back into the Manor to fetch the two, board line neurotic gentlemen a drink.

He debated whether or not he should spike it with alcohol…if not for them, at least for his increasingly weary mind.

"They're late…" Bruce mumbled.

"They're never late…" Clark concurred.

"Do you think something happened to them?"

"Do you?"

"No, we would have heard something by now."

"Then what's taking them?"

"How should I know Clark!?"

"Because you're the detective Bruce!"

Their seething faces met in a deathly stand-off, the slight Gotham breeze billowing their finely pressed suit jackets behind them. Through that soft whine of wind, they heard a pair of voices off in the distance.

" _I see them!"_

" _Yeah I know. I have eyes too Lois."_

" _Oh, so that time you almost flew me into a tree was on purpose then?"_

" _No, I was distracted!"_

" _By what, a big bird?"_

" _It was pretty!"_

"Is that…?"

"Yep." Replied Clark with a smile, pointing towards the growing visage of the two women flying through the air. "That's definitely them…"

" _I'm going to drop you off mid-flight so I can run in and get our dresses."_

" _What!?"_

" _It'll be faster that way!"_

" _You're going to drop me, from the air, in bare feet, onto that gravel road, and…"_

" _You'll be fine!"_

" _Says the immortal Amazon!"_

" _Just aim for Clark, he'll catch you!"_

" _Right because hitting a brick wall is sooooo much better!"_

" _Then aim for Bruce, I don't care!"_

" _What, and get infected with…..I don't know nihilism or something? Just dr_ op me off, hey!"

Wonder Woman let go of Lois's hands as she tumbled hard to the ground. She staggered forward, her arms failing, as she bounded out of control towards the doors of Wayne Manor…

Just as Clark's gentle arms snaked around her waist, enveloping her in a momentum stopping hug. Lois smiled at Clark as she patted him on the cheek.

"Nice catch Smallville." Her gaze hardened as her eye's met Bruce's. "You're girlfriends on my list."

"Get infected…with _nihilism_?"

A smirking Lois Lane smothered Clark's lips with her own as she rose, her eyes drifting downward towards his clothing.

"Nice suit honey. Do I dare ask how much it cost?"

"Uhm…" Clark rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Are you sure you don't want to wait until after dinner to hate me?"

"Uh huh. Well it's a good thing I'm going to win another Pulitzer Mr. _Kent_ if we're going to throw around money like its confetti."

"Bruce made me do it…" Clark pouted, pointing towards the stoic billionaire.

"Don't blame your friends, Clark. Now help me get ready, I want to hear all about your significantly less-exciting-than-mine day."

"Wouldn't miss it honey." He winked at Bruce as he and Lois disappeared into the halls of the Manor, the voice of Alfred singing out praise at Lois's arrival. A slight gust of wind behind him, forced Bruce to turn around…

Where he met the sparkling eyes of Diana, dressed in the exquisite dress they had bought together just last week. Their glowing smiles shone brightly in the setting sun as they stared into each other's eyes.

"Sounds like you had a busy day." Bruce walked forward, brushing a loose strand of hair out of her face. Diana's hand gently rubbed his outstretched arm.

"And sounds like you had to babysit Clark."

"It wasn't all bad; he and I had a good talk."

"Really?" Diana purred, drawing closer to his chest. "And what might you have talked about?"

Bruce flashed her a warm smile that melted her heart as he wrapped his arms around her, their warm faces pushing together. "Just that we have amazing taste in women."

"How thoughtful…" she teased as their lips drew closer.

"And that my world is so much brighter now that you've rescued me."

"Hmm, _that_ 's better." Their lips met as the sun disappeared over the horizon, basking the loving couple in a warm, orange glow. They broke apart briefly, their foreheads gently pressed together as they said in unison.

"I love you."

* * *

 **Now I'm even more mad at the New 52 for denying us the possibility of a Lois-Diana team up. Seriously, image how cool wit would be to have an immortal Amazon princess and an award winning reporter traveling across the DC universe solving crimes and kicking ass?**

 **I'd by that for a dollar. Or...$5 I guess, since that's what comics cost in Canada.**

 **Also, I suppose I should put a disclaimer down here that Edna Mode is owned by the Walt Disney Corporation, since Mickey Mouse seems to be pretty anal about copyright laws...**

 **Please don't sue me Mickey, I have nothing to give!**


	5. The Argument

**We now proudly present another installment in "goddammit I wish these guys were a couple alreadyTM"! (you better believe that's trademarked as hell buddy...I need some funds to come in for once...)**

 **Brought to you by the DC characters that I don't own, and the government body that I also don't own because I am neither rich enough nor active enough to try to rule the world. I'm also just far, _far_ too Canadian to do something like that...or is that what being Canadian is all about!?**

 **Anyways, thanks again for all the support, reviews, favorites and the like, and I hope you guys have enjoyed reading the one-shots so far! This one is written a little bit different of a style than the others, just for fun of course, in order to maximize...well honestly I don't know. Stuff I suppose? Yes, saying that it maximizes stuff should work juuusssttt fine. And I mean, come one, who doesn't like a Featureless Plane of Disembodied Dialogue in their story right?**

 **That's not actually in here but...I get a cookie for every trope name I drop...**

 **Well it's time for me to be a good little author and stop padding out the word count like a...word craved...writer...whatever, see you on the other side! And don't bump you're head on the way down**

* * *

 _ **The Argument**_

There were many things that Bruce found absolutely irresistible about Diana.

Her strength, her courage, her peerless compassion, they filled Bruce with an admiration he hadn't felt since Dick Grayson's first, proud, years as Robin. As a diplomat, she had grown to be one of the most commanding presences in _any_ room she so chose, even if it was filled with backwards misogynists or delirious dictators. The solitary years amongst the ancient tomes of Themyscira had sharpened her mind to the point where she could induce a migraine in Wally's head in less than two sentences.

Watching the Flash squirm while they conversed in nothing but Aristotle quotes always managed to put a smile on his face.

A sick, malicious smile…but a smile none the less, making her one of the few people still in existence who could do that almost at whim.

Above all else though, he valued her determination and drive, qualities he had long since believed to be mastered solely by him and him alone. To his initial surprise, and eventual pleasure, not only could she stand toe-to-toe with him at his fiercest and most resolute, but she could manage to strong arm _any_ member of the League with a ruthless efficiency that left even him agape.

Of course, it also meant that she was as stubborn as all hell…

Normally he found that endearing. Really, if he was to be honest with himself, he found it quite comforting. It meant that at least one other person on the Watchtower would scrutinize every detail of a plan to an antagonizing fault, whether it seemed imperative to any other member of the league at the time. Every now and again he'd catch himself taking a break from his usual paranoid nature simply because he knew Diana was on the Watchtower with him. That kind of trust was hard earned, but Diana deserved every ounce of it.

But when _he_ was on the receiving end of her unwavering resolve…well he was starting to understand why Superman would pound his head into the wall after every meeting…

It started innocently enough, he figured: Clark was reviewing the League's budget, always the most tantalizing part of any founders meeting. Wayne Enterprises, through a multitude of both public and private subsidiaries, provided the majority of the funds for the League's operations, with the occasional donation from Queen Industries. All in all, the two team billionaires accounted for approximately 70% of the operational budget. The other 30% was split between private donations, charity drives…

And the UN…

Saying that the last 30% of that precious, all powerful budget was in _flux_ was an aneurism inducing understatement. Like all general UN resolutions, the entirety of the General Assembly had to vote on what essentially amounted to a tiny, ink filled document that did nothing more than determine the League's long-term effectiveness. Of course u _nlike_ other UN resolutions, it wasn't as simple as getting more than 50% of the votes cast. No, it was _far_ too important of a document for that. The League needed no less than a 2/3rds majority for any budget proposal or funding increase to pass.

On a good day, half of the General Assembly couldn't even decide what colour the sky was...

Bruce thanked the god that he continually cursed that Diana had managed to keep the Security Council's tendrils out of the voting procedure. Of course, the fact that no less than two weeks ago the world famous Wonder Woman had to get into a spat with the UN Representative for Canada over the League's _pencil budget_ didn't exactly even the score between him and the Almighty…

Since Diana was both a member of the League and a UN Ambassador, she was unsurprisingly required to abstain from any voting involving the budget or deployment parameters due to potential "conflicts of interest".

So when Bruce found out that the latest draft he submitted was turned down by _one_ measly vote, he had nearly put the Watchtower out of orbit trying to work out his pent up rage.

Sure, the no one cares that the King of Saudi Arabia voted against a new climate change proposal right after his state-owned drilling company discovered another batch of oil, but if the League wants another goddamn _coffee machine_ , suddenly the entire political world is worried about the Batman and his New Deal loving cronies…

With all this happening within the span of one week, Bruce couldn't say he had the highest opinion of politicians at the moment. So when Clark mentioned that the League was going to be facing a spending crisis soon, and Diana calmly suggested they lobby Washington for increased funds, Bruce said something that he probably should have just kept to himself…

"We just fought a putrid scuzz-monster last week Diana, do we really want to deal with politicians so soon?"

His detective skills should have picked up on her subtle body movements at that point, but Batman was too far past the annoyance threshold to care. Under no circumstances was he going to play "Mr. Wayne Goes to Washington"; he could take on psychopaths like the Joker or Two-Face, but the US Senate? He wasn't crazy…

Besides, by his calculations, there was only an 11% chance that Diana would throw him out the airlock for his comment.

" _Excuse me_?"

Alright, 22%...

"So I'm just some _scuzz-monster_ now, am I?"

"Diana, he didn't mean it…"

"Sit down Clark, I'm not talking to _you_ …"

Under any other circumstance, he'd have smirked proudly at Clark's quick dismissal. As it stood, he was more than willing to agree with him…for once.

Having an Amazon stare at you with the kind of fire in her eyes that was reserved only for the worst levels of hell would do that to you, even if you were the Terror that Stalked in the Night.

"It's not important…forget I said anything."

Evidentially, that didn't placate her, considering how her chair was now sailing half-way across the founder's room.

"Oh really Bruce? It's not important that you just referred to politicians as _scuzz-monsters_ , is it? Well thank Hera no one around her moonlights as a politician or anything!"

"I think he's just…"

"Shut it _Kent_!"

It was at this moment that Bruce wondered if she had spent too much time with him, what with the striking similarity to his usual interactions with Clark and all that.

"Well Bruce?! Nothing you'd like to add?!"

"I think you're completely overreacting."

Somewhere on planet Earth, Bruce could feel Alfred palming his forehead as hard as his frail arms could possibly muster. Bruce was never known for easily defusing hostile situations, but even still…

" _Overreacting_ am I?"

He could see the worry on Clark's face as he witnessed World War III unfold in front of him. "Diana please…"

"I'll tell you _one_ last time to _shut up_ Clark! This doesn't involve you!"

Batman would have to think quickly in order to avoid…

"Yes you're overreacting and there's no reason to make Clark all upset!"

Dammit…

"Well it's nice to know you care about _one person's_ feelings!"

"Whatever problem you have right now Princess, there's no reason to drag Clark into it!"

This was going well…

" _Problem_!? Well jee Bruce, I wonder what _problem_ I could _possibly_ have!"

"Well the copious amounts of sarcasm you're using probably isn't helping!"

"Oh of course! It's all sarcasms fault! It couldn't be the arrogant, self-entitled _man-child_ dressed in all black now could it!"

" _Man-child_!? Oh, _I'm_ a man-child am I? Clearly that must be the case since _I'm_ the one throwing a _temper tantrum_ right now!"

Wally shuffled uneasily in his seat as he whimpered.

"Mom…Dad…please stop fighting…"

It was enough to get them both to pause, at least for a brief second anyways. With a fire that he could still _feel_ , he saw her point towards the door.

" _Everyone_ except the High and Mighty Mr. Wayne get out…

"What do you mean by…?"

"EVERYONE!"

At that moment, every member of the original seven seemed to tap into the speed force as they bolted from the room, or at least everyone except the cornered Bat and the seething Amazon…

Damn cowards…

Bruce should have backed down at this point, any sane man who valued having a consistent amount of blood in him throughout the day probably would. But as many people had constantly mentioned, Bruce was anything _but_ a sane man…

"Great. Perfect! We weren't even _close_ to being finished with this meeting! Now we're all going to have to take time out of our schedules…"

"Oh I'm so very _sorry_ to have inconvenienced you…"

Good, she _should_ be…

"You can drop the tone Princess; it's not helping…"

"Don't presume to tell me what to do Bruce! And don't act like you're an innocent party here!"

This could be a turning point; if he managed to defuse the situation right here with a calming conceit or a re-assuring gesture…

"It's not my fault that you can't seem to let this go!"

Dammit… _again_ …there was _at least_ a 40% chance of him getting spaced now he figured. Hardly ideal all things considered.

"Can't let it go!? I can't _let it go!?_ Do you have _any_ idea what kind of hellish day I've had!?"

"No, I don't Princess! So maybe you should _enlighten me_!"

"The entire day I've had to deal with pompous, ignorant men who think they either control the world from their small island of _delusion_ or that the idea of a woman even being in politics is some shameful _affront_ to whatever sick deity they worship! To top it all off, none of the industrialized nations seem to think the AIDS crisis in Western Africa is of any concern even though it's wiping out millions of people every year without so much of a blink of its putrid, sickly eye! Or they seem to think that climate change will just _go away_ if we ignore it, but hey, why don't we just keep on drilling anyways even when _every scientist on the planet_ is waving their arms like the doomsday clock is about to strike midnight….and guess what, it is! Poverty is at an all time high _throughout_ the world, and yet every time I mention it someone in the pocket of a billionaire has to call me out and say 'oh of _course_ a woman wants a raise, anything to get ahead without taking responsibility right?' You know how many times that was said to me?! Three! Three times in one, godsforsaken afternoon! And I can't do a damn thing about _any_ of this because Themyscira is just _one_ tiny little nation populated _entirely_ by a gender that half the General Assembly thinks is too _stupid_ to tie their own sandal laces!"

"I bet that would really piss you off then, hmm!?"

"For the love of Aphrodite of _course_ it does! And because I don't get a single break around here I have to come up to the Watchtower, explain why our funding is being cut _yet again_ , deal with all the idiots ogling me from a distance, and after all that I'll probably have to go down to Earth in less than an hour and save one of those ignorant delegates who think I'm just _property_ from some…some… _scuzz-monster_!"

Bruce began to inch closer, both of their eyes still burning passionately.

"Well you can at least take _solace_ in the fact that someone else is _suffering_ too!"

"Oh, so you had a bad day too huh?!"

"I've been running maintenance on this expensive piece of space junk for the past _four hours_ because _Flash_ decided to reboot the entire communications system to get a private call with some girl named _Linda_! Wayne Enterprises is going to have to divert even more money into some private account away from the SEC just to pay for the Javelin replacements, and Bruce Wayne can't even get an audience with the manufacturer to request a discount because he's _bitter_ that we failed to stop one of the White Martians from destroying one of his plants! And of course the Joker has gone on another murderous rampage, and I can't even start my investigation in full yet because Mayor Sharp is too busy trying to privatize the _police force!_ Like we didn't have enough of a corruption problem already! So yes, _Princess_ , I've had a hell of a bad day too…"

"Well did you at least get it out of your system!?"

"I think I did! Did you?!"

"Yes!"

"Good!"

"Good!"

" _Good_!"

He could feel his chest heave in and out as all his pent up rage exited his system, scattered into the air with the end of his diatribe. He could see Diana's hands slowly drop to her sides as well, her eyes looking back at him wearily. They both stood there in silence, watching the other's body movements as the fire raging inside them slowly died down.

"I'm sorry you had a bad day…" Diana whispered, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. Bruce let out a massive sigh as he shuffled on his feet.

"You too, Princess. I know being our resident delegate isn't easy…"

"But I'm the only one strong enough to do it…"

"You're damn right." Bruce felt his smile return as he closed the distance between them, his hand gently falling onto her shoulder. "I'm glad I don't have to keep reminding you of that anymore. You're the best of us, that's why we wouldn't trust anyone with this besides you."

His entire body warmed as her beaming smile illuminated the room. "The scuzz-monster comment didn't really offend me…..."

"I know."

"I just needed to vent."

"Me too Princess, me too…"

He couldn't take his eyes off her again, every irresistible feature clawing away at his self control. She was the best of them, by a significant margin.

And she was damn beautiful to boot.

"Should we let the rest of the founder's back in?"

"Well actually, I thought we could just have mad, passionate sex right here on the table instead…"

"Bruce!"

Damn…..he'd been saving that line for almost three months now, waiting for the perfect opportunity. Surely being in the throngs of a heated argument would spice up the mood in the room. Worth a shot though, he figured.

Of course, then he noticed that her lascivious grin hadn't disappeared…

"That wasn't a _no_ though, Mr. Wayne…" she purred as her fingers danced over his abdomen. He couldn't help himself from returning her lustful gaze as their lips locked around each other, sparks immediately flying through their reinvigorated bodies.

Maybe, just maybe…today didn't turn out so bad after all…

* * *

 **I already made an "Other Side" joke here but...meh...**

 **Welp, that wraps up the fifth one-shot featuring our favorite characters hammer in a Gary Oldman reference! Ain't love beautiful?**

 **I'm actually tempted to put up a list of all the pop-culture references I've used in this story but...you know what, screw it, I will!**

 _ **Finding a Reason:**_

 **William Blake shout-out**

 **John Keats shout-out**

 _ **Sparring:**_

 **Airplane reference**

 **A really terrible Mel Brooks movie**

 **Two conservative commentators that I don't particularly like being alive (well only one of them is but…)**

 **Frank Miller's the Dark Knight Returns**

 **Vampire Batman from the Graphic Novel "Batman and Dracula: Red Rain"**

 **Robocop –Batman**

 **Adam West Batman**

 **And a Dirt Harry reference…sort of**

 _ **The Golden Age:**_

 **Just a really obscure Wonder Woman villain and Batman's tendency to alliterate the shit out of his opponents in the Silver Age**

 **And, of course, a Goldfinger reference, probably my favorite**

 _ **Double Date:**_

 **Guest Staring Edna Mode!**

 **And Sal, poor poor Sal…**

 **Also _Teach_ is the real name of Blackbeard, and Blackbeards severed head was hung from the rafters of his ship after his death, so that's where Diana's joke comes from. **

**And the shot at gun stores mostly comes from my…uhh…confusion over people who think everyone needs a gun to keep the government off their lawns and yet wants to pay for a $800 billion defense budget without thinking that, maybe, those two might be a little incompatible. I did warn you that I might get a _little_ political…**

 _ **The Argument:**_

 **Just the Gary Oldman reference…gotta love Gary Oldman**

 **Oh, and I really, reeeaaalllyyy bad Darkwing Duck reference...it had to happen eventually...**

 **So...there you go, a handy dandy guide to my attempt at being Quentin Tarantino! Hope you guys enjoyed the story and I'll see ya next time! (At the depressing story, so...bring popcorn I guess?)**


	6. The Bat

**Now for something completely different.**

 **I personally love "The Raven", and Edgar Allen Poe in general. But when you read the poem in a Batman centric feeling...well you start to notice a few similarities.**

 **And then you get creative and decide to bastardize the poem.**

 **So...if we're exploring the different themes of Batman and Wonder Woman, why not talk about Bruce's dark loneliness, right?**

 **With that: DC owns the characters, Poe owns the poem, and I own the box of cookies I ate while writing this. Mostly because they're in ma belly.**

 **I'll provide a brief interpretation of the poem at the end.**

* * *

 _ **The Bat**_

 _Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,_

 _Over many a quaint and curious volume of lawless lore-_

 _While I nodded, bleeding and slacking, suddenly there came a tapping,_

 _As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door-_

" _Tis only Alfred," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door._

 _Only him and no one more."_

 _..._

 _Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December;_

 _And each shattered crimson Pearl clattered dead upon the floor._

 _Earnestly I wished the morrow;-vainly I sought to borrow_

 _From my studies surcease of sorrow-sorrow for the lost Guardians of yore-_

 _For the loving and comforting touch of my buried Guardians of yore;-_

 _Silent here for ever more._

 _..._

 _And the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each ebony curtain_

 _Dismayed me-miserably, filled with blackening terrors never felt before;_

 _So that now, to still the fleeting of my heart, I stood repeating_

" _Tis only Alfred entreating entrance at my chamber door-_

 _A perturbed Alfred entreating entrance at my chamber door;-_

 _Only him and no one more."_

 _..._

 _Presently his soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,_

" _Sir" said he, "Master Bruce, truly your forgiveness I implore;_

 _But the fact is that you were napping, and yet so heavily you were slacking,_

 _And so faintly the crimson poured, drenching the chamber's floor,_

 _That I'm obstinate to check on you; here let me open wide the door."_

 _Darkness there and nothing more._

 _..._

 _Deep into that darkness peering, long he stood there wondering, fearing,_

 _Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever wished to dream before;_

 _But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,_

 _And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Bruce?"_

 _This he whispered, and an echo murmured back the words, "no more."_

 _Merely this and nothing more._

 _..._

 _Back into the hallway turning, all his soul within him burning,_

 _Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before._

" _Surely," said I, "surely that is something at my window lattice;_

 _Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore-_

 _Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;-_

 _'Tis merely darkness calling, and nothing more…."_

 _..._

 _Suddenly with a piercing crash, with flying, glistening bits of glass,_

 _In there flew a putrid Bat of the demonic calls to war;_

 _Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;_

 _But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door-_

 _Perched upon a bust of Father just above my chamber door-_

 _Perched, and sat, and nothing more._

 _..._

 _Then this ebony rodent beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,_

 _By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,_

" _Though thy crest be coarse and paling, thou," I said, "art sure no craven,_

 _Ghastly grim and questioning haven wandering from the Nightly shore-_

 _Tell me what my earthly call is on the Night's decrepit shore!"_

 _Growled the Bat "Nevermore."_

 _..._

 _Much I marvelled this ungainly ghoul to hear discourse so plainly,_

 _Though its answers little meaning-little relevancy bore;_

 _For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being_

 _Ever yet was blessed with seeing bat above his chamber door-_

 _Bat or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,_

 _With an answer such as "Nevermore."_

 _..._

 _But the rodent, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only_

 _That one word, as if its soul in that one word it did outpour._

 _Nothing farther then it uttered-not a leather wing did flutter-_

 _Till I scarcely more than muttered "Other friends have flown before-_

 _On the morrow it will leave me, as my Hopes have flown before."_

 _Then the bat said "Nevermore."_

 _..._

 _Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,_

" _Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store_

 _Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster_

 _Followed fast and followed faster till its songs one burden bore-_

 _Till the dirges of its Hope that melancholy burden bore_

 _Like me, finding happiness "Nevermore."_

 _..._

 _But the rodent still beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,_

 _Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bat, and bust and door;_

 _Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking_

 _Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bat of yore-_

 _What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous bat of yore_

 _Meant in growling "Nevermore."_

 _..._

 _This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing_

 _To the bat whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;_

 _This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining_

 _On the cushions dampening lining that the moon-light gloated o'er;_

 _But whose dampened crimson lining with the moon-light gloating o'er,_

 _It shall press, ah, nevermore!_

 _..._

 _Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer_

 _Swung by seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor._

" _Father," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee-by these angels he hath sent thee_

 _Respite-respite and nepenthe, from thy memories of yore_

 _Quaff, oh quaff this kind of nepenthe and forget that nightmare of yore!"_

 _Quoth the Bat "Nevermore."_

 _..._

" _Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil!-prophet still, if bat or devil!-_

 _Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,_

 _Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted-_

 _On this home by Horror haunted-tell me truly, I implore-_

 _Is there-is there balm in vengeance?-tell me-tell me, I implore!"_

 _Quoth the Bat "Nevermore."_

 _..._

" _Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil!-prophet still, if bat or devil!_

 _By that Heaven that bends above us-by that God we both adore-_

 _Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant time laden,_

 _It shall find a perfect haven free from the nightmares of yore-_

 _Perhaps clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom takes away the dread of yore."_

 _Quoth the Bat "Nevermore."_

 _..._

" _Be that word our sign of parting, bat or fiend!" I shrieked, upstarting-_

" _Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's decrepit shore!_

 _Leave no black fume as a token of that dread thy soul hath spoken!_

 _Leave my loneliness unbroken!-quit the bust above my door!_

 _Take thy fangs from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!"_

 _Quoth the Bat "Nevermore."_

 _..._

 _And the Bat, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting_

 _On the pallid bust of Father just above my chamber door;_

 _And its eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,_

 _And the moon-light o'er it streaming throws its shadow on the floor;_

 _And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor_

 _Shall be lifted-nevermore!_

* * *

 **So simply put, "The Raven" is about a lonely man encountering a Raven in which he in essence asks it if he'll ever see his love again, to which it says "nope".**

 **For Batman then, I based it off the scene in "Batman: Year One" where a bat crashes into his study, inspiring him to be Batman, though the questions he "asks" the bat (to which he believes his father sent) amount to "What should I do?", "Will I ever be Happy?" etc etc, with the bat "telling" him that no, he'll always be lonely, the pain of his parents death will never go away, and his life is now the Batman's.**

 **Forever more.**

 **Sooooo, what do you guy's think?**


	7. What Kind of Day Has it Been

**Alright…..plot delivered almost entirely through dialogue? Check.**

 **A walk and talk? Check.**

 **Rapid, overlapping and sometimes repeating, back and forth conversations? Check.**

 **Overly preachy Author Tracts? Check.**

 **Affectionate Sorkin parody? Well I feel like I write women better than that but…**

 **Anyways, here's the** _ **West Wi**_ **-I mean the** _ **Social Ne**_ **-I mean…..Chapter….uh….7.**

* * *

 _ **What Kind of Day Has it Been**_

 _ **Headquarters of the United Nations: New York City, New York**_

 _ **1100 Hours**_

"Timandra!" Diana bellowed from her office, her voice rising over the incessant hum of the bustling bureaucrats outside. Bustling _Amazonian_ bureaucrats to be precise. A proud and regal race of warriors, poets and architects fighting the modern evils of Mans-world with the same intensity and strategy they reserved for invasions from the depths of Tartarus itself.

It meant that Diana had to deal with near constant shouting and a bloody nose or two…

The Amazonian approach to the challenge of politics was nothing short of challenging, and though she was far from being in a foul mood, Diana had to internally lament that her support staff never ceased to find a way to grate at her nerves.

The fact that her heels seemed to be made of some sort of flesh eating material didn't exactly help. The absence of her senior economic advisor was an equal annoyance for that matter.

"Timandra!" she screamed again, ignoring the Amazon standing in front of her as she craned her neck towards the door.

"Diana we really must discuss how you plan to deal with Ambassador Vinick."

"No Euboea we really mustn't." Diana retorted, her eyes still peering out past the open door. "This isn't the most important thing on my mind right now."

"It involves the United State Diana…"

"So does everything else."

"But this involves personal threats to their UN Ambassador…"

"No, it involves personal threats _from_ their UN Ambassador." Diana corrected, pushing past Euboea. "Mine were perfectly succinct _promises_."

"Fine, then your _promise_ to perform a colonoscopy with an ICBM was…"

"Impractical, yes I understand."

"I think _political shitstorm inducing_ is a much more accurate description."

Diana frowned. "You've been hanging out with politicians too much…"

"Which is entirely _your_ fault…"

Diana crossed her arms as she directed her attention from her agitated Chief of Staff to the scurrying crowd of Amazons, a scowl growing on her face. "This is hardly the first time someone has called Vinick out on his hubris…Timandra for the love of Aphrodite! "

"Yes but most people don't use nuclear missiles as a threat." Euboea interrupted.

"I'm more than certain that was the entire Cold War in a nutshell…"

" _Diana….._ " it was Euboea's turn to cross her arms and scowl. Diana's gaze however remained unchanged.

"I wasn't being serious…"

"Do you really think they can tell?"

"If I was seriously threatening them, I'd seriously threaten them." Diana countered, her head sticking completely out of her office as her voice began to rise in volume. "Just like I'm seriously threatening to flay Timandra alive if she isn't here…"

A flustered Amazon came bounding around the corner, loose leaf paper raining around her as she clutched her notepad to her chest. "I'm here Diana, I just got caught up in…stuff…"

Diana's brow furrowed as her annoyance dissipated. "Stuff?"

"Yes…stuff…"

A discrete smirk grew on Diana's lips. "Not flirting with Ambassador Pearson again are we?"

"Not at all ma'am!" a crisp, if somewhat nervous retort. Diana's smirk only grew.

"Good, because I'm going to haul him in front of the World Court for the pencil issue tomorrow."

The look of horror that flashed over Timandra's face almost made up for the incensing wait Diana was subjected to. Euboea appeared next to Diana, her gaze landing apologetically on Timandra.

"I miss how you used to be all business. Your jokes will be the death of us…"

Diana's smirk grew into a full blown smile. "I can't help that I have a great stress-relief now. He certainly helps to lightening me up even when the days are long and arduous. Speaking of which…" she glanced questioningly at her now composed advisor.

"Very long."

"And?"

"Excessively arduous."

"Great." Diana responded, ignoring the apologetic look of her advisor. "I love it when I get to re-enact the Sacking of Troy in heels and a business suit." She started walking towards the exit of the Amazonian Offices, her neck craned slightly as she called back towards her two staff members.

"Euboea, hold down the fort. Timandra, walk with me."

"Yes ma'am." They replied in unison, the two civil servants separating as Diana took off towards the exit. The blurs of Amazonian politicians sped past them as Timandra caught up to the Amazonian Ambassador, paper files still shuffling in her arms. The doors parted and the duo found themselves in the main foyer of the General Assembly Building; a long, traffic filled walk still spread out in front of them. Diana addressed Timandra as soon as she was sure her advisor had reached her side, her voice loud enough to cut through the multilingual cacophony of political murmurs around her.

"So why are we here?"

"The Economic and Social Council called an emergency meeting." Came Timandra's reply, her face buried in the paper work enveloped in her arms.

"I'm aware of that. _Why_ did they call an emergency meeting?"

"Because of you, I think."

"Again, I'm aware of that. Narrow it down please?"

Timandra yanked a yellow form out of her pile and handed it to Diana as they continued to trudge through the building.

"Your memo…"

"About our education budget?"

"Yes about our education budget."

"And their reaction?"

"Uhh….befuddled."

"Befuddled?"

Timandra shook her head in confirmation as she rummaged through her forms again. "And offended, apparently."

"Offended?"

"Apparently."

Diana growled as the clicking of her heels grew louder. "And what's so offensive about asking the IMF and World Bank to prioritize investment in education over capital accumulation?"

Another paper entered her hands. "I guess they don't like you telling them how to do their job."

"Isn't it my job to tell them how to do their job?"

Timandra shrugged as she returned Diana's memo to her pile. "I think they expect you to adhere to the status quo."

Diana's hands danced in front of her as another scowl creased her face. "Their job is to focus on poverty reduction. Education is the quickest, most equitable way to ensure that. Give them money for schools and teachers, more kids get taught how to read and write and divide by four, society gets the benefit of an intelligent work force, and their labour force becomes more productive and competitive. Jobs, money, economic growth, and a collective intelligence higher than a crushed fruit loop."

"And no poverty."

" _Less_ poverty." Diana corrected. "If they really want to try to eliminate poverty, they'd institute my _Women's Liberation Program_ and re-invest in Golden Rice…"

"I think they feel that Foreign Investment and trade is still the best way to go…"

Diana scoffed. "Right, because crippling poverty and widespread hunger are just tinny little road bumps on Zimbabwe's path to finally being able to afford their first Porsche…"

"On the bright side, I can order a Big Mac in over seventy five different languages." Timandra deadpanned. Diana couldn't say she was exactly amused…

"Over half the world continues to oppress over half their population, and everywhere else businessmen are using their employee's checks as tissue paper. You'd think the World Bank would want to increase the number of consumers as much as possible."

"You would think that, yes."

"I mean have none of these people taken an economics class before?"

It was Timandra's turn to furrow her brow. "Are you asking if a collection of economists have ever taken an economics class?"

"No." Diana shook her head, her hand held up in front of her. "I'm asking if a bunch of lobotomized parrots have ever taken an economics class. I refuse to degrade the profession by lumping them together Lagarde and Yong Kim."

"I thought you hated economists?" Timandra asked, curiosity still set on her face.

"I don't hate anybody, I just wish that they'd all be replaced by murdering robots or something."

"How would that help?"

"I could punch them without getting in trouble." She snickered. "Also we might actually get things done for a change…"

The bustling of politicians morphed into quiet stretch of empty hall as the two Amazons entered the less public area of the UN headquarters building. Fewer diplomats and staff lounged in the tightening halls, allowing a peaceful quiet to settle over the two delegates from Themyscira.

At least until they rounded the corner.

"Diana, we need to talk…"

The two Amazon's craned their necks as they looked for the source of the voice. Heavy footfalls became muffled as they approached the now carpeted floor. Diana could recognize the dark blue Air Force uniform and floppy blonde hair almost anywhere.

It didn't exactly alleviate any of her aggravation…

"I know what you're here for Steve, and I'm not apologizing."

"You should." Colonel Steve Trevor bluntly stated. His eyes shifted towards Diana's advisor. "Hey Timandra."

"Please don't talk to me…" she timidly responded as she tried to hide behind her armful of files.

"Don't involve my staff in this Steve; if you're going to fail at pushing some idiotic doctrine at the Amazon's at least limit the damage to someone who won't automatically rip your head off."

"See, this is what I mean. Ambassador Vinick…"

"Is an idiot."

"Is _trying_ to represent his countries interests…"

"At the expense of other countries."

Steve sighed loudly. "Diana please, don't…"

"Don't what?" her voice continued to remain neutral to the amazement of both Steve and Timandra.

"Trivialize this. You know that…"

"You know Steve, just bluntly explaining someone's actions isn't _trivializing_. The United States invaded another country for the vaguest of reasons, and when I demanded an explanation all he could muster up was a threat against Themyscira if we interfered."

"He explained why…"

"Just saying'The War on Terror' isn't nearly enough for something like this." Diana scoffed.

"And all he said was he'd redact American aid to the region."

Diana's scoff become more hostile as she finally eyed the Air Force Colonel. "Which is a threat. Or have you become so used to delivering them that you forget what that means?"

"Diana…"

The Amazonian Ambassador turned towards her advisor. "Timandra, how would you react if I broke into your house and threatened to dismantle every TV you had?"

"Like I make enough to afford a TV…" she lamented.

"Is it so hard to help me with my analogy?"

Steve's face tweaked in confusion as his eyes darted back and forth between the two Amazons. They eventually rested hard on Diana. "Jokes? Since when do you have a comedy routine?"

"Boyfriend." Timandra responded plainly. "Helped her cope _immensely._ Sweet guy. Rich. Bit of a fop…"

"Oh. Is he cute?"

Diana sighed. "Can we get back to arguing? Because I really don't feel like dealing with mood whiplash in these heels…"

"Look Diana," Steve interjected as he shook the image of Diana going out with Donald Trump out of his mind, "this is a matter of national security, alright? And things have to be a little bit different when the safety of three hundred million people is potentially at stake…"

Diana's walking pace quickened slightly as annoyance continued to build within her. "Note the use of the word _potentially_."

"Qumar is…"

"An extremely poor country going through a transitional phase that will only lead to chaos if foreign troops start marching through the capital."

Steve wouldn't relent. "Several known terrorist organizations…"

"Have been kicked out of the country, and their movements have been reported on. Seriously Steve, these guys have done everything except leave them hog-tied on your front porch."

"Are you going to let me finish a sentence?"

"No." Diana stopped near the end of the chamber they had been trotting through. She folded her arms over her head and glared at Steve, the look she was shooting him being more than enough to cause Timandra to back away towards the safety of a near-by exit. "As much as I want to leave Sajdik and the rest of the Council squirming in their seats, I _do_ have a meeting to attend. So finish you spiel, I'll finish mine, and we can all go full circle and repeat this tomorrow after I tell Vinick that Themyscira considers the invasion of Qumar to be both equal parts illegal and stupid, ok?"

If Steve had been any other guy, he would have been taken aback by Diana's bluntness. As it stood, he was more intrigued by this newly discovered dry humour.

And what things her boyfriend would have had to do to coax it out of her…

 _Bad Steve, dirty thoughts…_

"We're friends, right Diana?"

"Surprisingly, yes."

"And Timandra?"

"I wish to bathe in your blood most of the time."

Steve flinched slightly before he convinced himself she was kidding. "Groovy. Listen, I get it. Vinick's a maverick at the best of times. At the worst? He'd give Jeane Kirkpatrick a run for her money." He nervously rubbed the nape of his neck as his mind poured over his options, hoping to find one that didn't end with him getting punted out a window…

"I don't like gunboat diplomacy any more than you do, so I'm not going to stand here and sermonize you on actions I don't even agree with. But I think we both want to avoid an international incident between the most powerful country in the world and a nation filled with god-like warriors as much as possible, right? It'd be like the Cold War with tanks, nukes and magic lasso's, and frankly that's a party I don't really want to be around to see. So please, Diana, just lay off on Vinick for a little bit, and I'll get him to lay off you. I'm sure deep down you know that this is the only way anything of any meaning is going to get done around here…"

Diana pondered his request, if for only the briefest, most fleeting of seconds, before straightening her posture resolutely and staring defiantly into his eyes.

"No."

Steve's shoulders slumped as his hands flung into the air in exasperation.

"Diana…"

"Let me finish…"

"C'mon Diana serio…"

"Let me _finish_ Steve…"

His hands returned sheepishly to his sides. "Yes ma'am…"

Diana's arms folded over her chest again as she glared into Steve's eyes, a fiery intensity spilling into every word she spoke. "Before I was born, the entirety of the Amazon's, my _sisters_ , we're subjugated, abused, and humiliated by Heracles, a bully in the fullest sense of the world. He _feared_ us Steve; he was driven by insatiable jealousy and crippling paranoia and above all else, he hated to be challenged. So he came to our shores, marched through our cities and with a flaming sword carved out the heart of the Amazon's and tore our culture asunder. The Amazons, who loved and nurtured all of Gaia's creatures with peerless compassion, had to take up arms, slaughter our captors, and retreat behind the mists to safety with nothing but contempt for the world that tried to crush us under its heel. All because he thought we were a threat, an evil empire lying in wait. He destroyed all that we were and all that we could become, because he thought a pre-emptive strike on our shores was in his nation's _best interests_. We have no tolerance for international bullies Steve, especially ones that shroud their vague imperialism through lies and hubris. And I know neither do you."

Steve's hand again rubbed the nape of his neck, his sheepish look only increase as Diana continued to stare. "Me, or the country?"

"Both." Diana stated resolutely. "What was King George to you if not a bully? One who interfered where he wasn't welcome? I don't recall the young Thirteen Colonies having much tolerance for those who stuck their nose in other people's business. Neither did the meek teenager I rescued from the pack of angered students that you had beaten into submission because…"

"Because I thought they were going to take my lunch, yeah I remember…"

Diana's annoyed glare dissipated as a small smile formed on her lips. "So, do you understand where we're coming from now?"

Steve stroked his clean-shaven jaw. "Einstein said that the only thing necessary for evil to triumph was for good men to do nothing…"

"Which is what I'm doing right now Steve. I wouldn't call Vinick evil, but he's certainly misguided enough to cause a far bigger incident that one Amazon Ambassador…"

"Fine…I get it…" Steve responded, a not too uncommon look of acceptance crossing his features. He quirked his brow as he streaked his hand through his mess of blonde hair. "You don't tell people that I used to get beat up a lot, do you?"

"Only if they look really important." She smirked.

"I dislike your new sense of humour."

"You sure? Because it's definitely helped keep my mood consistently good despite all the sewage I have to wade through. That's the best anniversary gift I think I've ever been given. I thought you'd be happy for me…" a big, toothy grin spread on her face. "I'm leaving Steve; say 'hi' to Etta for me, alright?"

"Got it." He clicked his fingers at her in the cheesiest way possible. "See ya later Timandra."

"I hope you fall on a pike."

A small jab from Diana's elbow nearly sent her advisor's pile of paper flying as she quickly pivoted on her heel, the clacking of her shoes on the floor resuming their echo through the passing chambers around them. Timandra struggled to keep up as she juggled the mass of documents in her tiring arms.

"How long have we been walking for?" Timandra asked, breaking the silence.

"We're almost done, just keep looking ahead…"

A heavy set of wooden doors sat at the end of a long, carpeted hallway, each one flanked by a rough looking security guard. Loud shouting, laced with thinly veiled threats (along with several not so thinly veiled ones) emanated from behind the doors, each burst growing louder and ironically more indistinguishable the closer they were. Diana stopped just in front of the doors and turned towards Timandra, her assistants face still darting between the documents clenched in her arms.

"I need ammo."

"How much?"

Diana didn't even have to ponder as she reached forward towards the pile of paper. "I need trade information between targeted countries, economic growth indicators, and a spread sheet comparing spending on education to foreign investment."

"Alright."

"And I need every study you can find linking education and economic stability. Try to focus on university studies; Think Tanks won't cut it."

"Got it."

"And I want at least three-no four projection outlooks for Central Africa and two from Eastern Europe."

"Where we implemented your proposal?"

"Yes where we implemented my proposal."

Timandra nodded as she jotted her instructions down. Diana motioned to the guards to start opening the doors. "And your business meeting with Bruce at..."

"7:00."

"Right, uhh at 7:00 is all ready to go. I've cleared your schedule for that; you shouldn't have any interruptions this time."

"Excellent."

"Anything else you need?"

Diana stroked her chin as sound leaked out into the hallway. "Would a quintuple espresso kill an ordinary human being?"

"Most likely." Timandra nodded.

"Good, I'll take the largest one you can find."

She pivoted on her heel as the doors fully opened, her senses being bombarded by endless and loudly delivered jargon aimed directly at her. Timandra cringed as the full brunt of the noise hit her, her enhanced hearing just barely being able to pick out a completely neutral and unflustered Diana as her voice rose over the symphony of discontent inside.

"All right gentleman," she began loudly, "who wants to yell at me first?"

…

…

…

 _ **Wayne Tower: Gotham City, New Jersey**_

 _ **1500 hours**_

"I'm not saying it's a _bad_ decision Bruce," began a grey-haired man in an expensive business suit, "I'm just saying it's…"

"Absolutely idiotic." Finished another, the bald man's gruff face scowling at the figure of Bruce Wayne draped lazily over the conference table.

"Please Arnold, tell me how you really feel?" Bruce replied disinterestedly, his knuckles rapping impatiently on the glistening mahogany table. He wasn't sure what feeling he was broadcasting more; apathy or condescension. Either way, he hoped it fully masked his desire to throttle Mr. Arnold Calloway within an inch of his life…

"You…alright fine." Mr. Calloway stuttered, his pudgy face growing more flustered and red as he crumpled his notes angrily in front of him. "You took one of our largest, most profitable investment portfolios and gutted it, _without_ our permission…"

"I didn't need your permission." Bruce lazily dismissed.

"You divested tens of millions of dollars from a _vibrant_ industry…"

"I was polite about it."

"And you diverted it all into _green energy_."

"I thought the office smelled…musky…"

"Goddammit Bruce, take this seriously!" Arnold screamed, his fists pounding the table.

"I am. That's why I divested as much money as I could." Bruce leered in response.

"And it will cost us millions! Bruce, the amount of money we made of that sector…"

"Yes the _weapons_ sector." Bruce interrupted again, his head rising from its former perch upon his hand. "Ground pounding, soldier mutilating, world ending weapons. The kind of things that might make an otherwise impeccable vacation spot uninhabitable. There are several countries still out there where I haven't yet sampled the cuisine, the culture, and of course..." he sneered, "the cli-."

"Bruce, please." Interrupted another board member, his mustache bristling in anxiety. Bruce's lecherous swagger at the head of the table continued to add to the palpable tension.

"Look, Arnold. I can't for the life of me see why you're getting your feathers ruffled over this."

"The fact that we're going to lose several million dollars doesn't concern you?" another, young looking member of the board answered for Mr. Calloway, who nodded in agreement, his face still pulsating with searing rage.

"We're not losing…"

"And the completely destruction of our image in the industry." Another interruption, this from the lone woman on the board.

"I really don't care…"

"And why not Bruce?" asked another as Mr. Calloway nearly rose out of his seat.

"Your blatant disregard for the growth of this company is incensing! And the fact that _we_ have to shoulder the blame when you throw our subdivisions under the bus for some misguided, bleeding heart _crusade_ is a downright personal _attack_!"

Out of the corner of his eye, Bruce could see Lucius Fox pinch the bridge of his nose, a headache surely forming in the otherwise emotionally neutral man's head. A pencil was nearly being crushed in his fist as he attempted to block the draining babble around him. Bruce feigned deep offense as he turned his direction back to the icy glares of the Wayne Enterprises Board of Governors.

"Wow, I'm starting to think you guys don't like me or something?"

His loopy grin increased as he grated away at the nerves of his business 'partners'.

"We have a direction for this company, Bruce…"

"A _good_ direction…" added the red-faced Arnold.

"And the money brought in from LexCorp and Stark Industries…"

"Spare change and a crappy hooker." Bruce interrupted as he slouched back into his chair. "Maybe two if we're in Cuba."

"You call $70 Million _spare change_!" Arnold raged.

"What and you don't? How many wives do you have again?"

"$70 _Million_." He repeated. "And you just went ahead and pissed into the wind!"

Bruce only chuckled as he rose from his seat and drifted towards the drink cart in the room's corner, an annoyed smile plastered on his face.

"Is your plan to drive me to drink so much my liver kills me and you inherit the company?" ice clanked against the edge of the glass as he reached for a bottle of expensive brandy.

"We won't need to after we _remove_ you, Bruce." Mr. Calloway fumed, all the board members, minus a heavily sighing Lucius, nodding in agreement. "And in the most unceremonious way possible. You've done far too much damage to the company, we're more than within our right to throw you out on your ass!"

"I've turned record profits every quarter except two since I took over this position Arnold, and no, you won't and aren't."

"And how do you figure that?"

"Because you're an idiot," he swirled his drink in his hand, "but more importantly, you're an idiot who didn't read his contract."

"I beg your _pardon_?" Arnold seethed.

"Beg all you want, I won't forgive you until you give me a kiss."

"Listen here you spoiled little…"

"I'm the owner and majority shareholder, by quite a significant margin I might add, which means I could easily veto every little proposal that leaks out of your head with nothing more than a pen, a sticky note, and a rude gesture to you and your promiscuous wife. But none of that's necessary because, as per the usual day-to-day governance of this grand corporation I allow you to squat in, all decisions of the board must be approved and finalized by myself and the lovely Mr. Fox over here." He pointed to his right as he dropped into his cushioned seat, his leg dangling off the arm rest disinterestedly. "Isn't that right Lucius?"

"I'm please to say 'yes', Mr. Wayne." He grinned, teeth sparkling in the expensive overhead lighting.

"Sorry to say gentlemen and not-so-gentlewoman, and whatever type of Tomato you look like at the moment Arnold. But I'm pretty sure Scruffy the Janitor has more power here than you do. Only because I like him, even if he never seems to clean the toilets properly…"

"Then why are we even _here_?" spat one of the board members, his gaze split between Bruce sniffing his drink and Arnold desperately trying to contain his rising blood pressure.

"Because I hate you, all of you, with a passion I save only for rich twats like yourself. And I like to torture you. Maliciously. Endlessly. It's accurate to say that the Devil wears Bespoke after all…"

The incised woman gritted her teeth as she hissed at the still absent minded Bruce. "When you make a bone-headed decision like this we have a right to…"

"No, you have no right. This isn't a democracy. But I'd suggest you attend a math class fairly soon before people realize what a putz you are."

"I…"

"The $70 Million is being invested in the invention of one Dr. Hamilton, a genius in both environmental engineering and nuclear physics. He's going to win the Nobel Prize this year so that'll boast the exposure of this new Positron generator ten-fold. Which means money, of course. Lots and lots of money. The generator itself has the support of several government contracts, which means it'll be out on the market well in advance of the latest weapons system from LexCorp or Stark, and since the next war will be fought over oil and gas instead of land, having the upper hand in the energy market is nothing short of _clairvoyant_. The pre-orders alone come to a return of about 250% and that's not even including the public sector orders outside of the United States either. So…everyone, please remove the cattle prod from your asses and form a line to my right so that you may grovel for my forgiveness. I'm feeling…generous."

The room was suffocating silent as every set of beady eyes present fell upon the smirking, pompous figure of Bruce Wayne. Lucius Fox held a satisfied grin on his face as his own gaze poured over the besmirched group of executives surrounding him. Arnold, his face still pulsating with red rage, leaned forward over his small stack of papers.

"And what if we don't believe you."

"Then call Stiglitz at Columbia if you really want." Bruce replied without missing a beat, his eyes still focused solely on his untouched drink. Or Friedman at Chicago if you really need a second opinion, but you'll want to wash your tongue with battery acid after talking with him. Or at least be prepared to vomit blood…"

"Friedman was one of my professors…" mused one of the more quiet board members.

"Why can't I bring myself to care?" Bruce snorted rhetorically, his form turning in his chair as he draped his enclosed hands over the table again, sans the brandy that lay next to his left arm. "You know, I could have most of you deported if I really wanted to…"

"Take this serious Bruce!" shouted Arnold.

"Don't want to…Lucius, how many board members have I fired over the years for fun? I lost count after twenty two…"

He was taken aback when a small chuckle escaped Mr. Calloway's cracked lips, his completion finally cooling to a more normal hue. His predatory glare, however, remained in full force as he brought the brunt of his palpable annoyance down on the billionaire in front of him.

"Mocking us…playing deity with your senior staff…tarnishing our reputation with playboy antics and hot-head deals…your parents would be so disappointed in you…"

Bruce's face grew dark as his muscles tensed, the playboy persona slowly leaking away into the surrounding shadows. Lucius stirred restlessly in his chair as the perplexed members of the board eyed him intently. With what little remained of his self-control, Bruce seized the last, fleeting bits of aloof playboy and rose from his seat, his eyes closed as he took a deep breath.

"You know what Arnold? For a time, I would have agreed with you. But let me make something clear to you, to _all_ of you. My father and mother were good people; they took their lot in life as a sign that they had the power to make other people's lives a little less miserable. Some way, somehow. They wouldn't threaten employees behind my back, they wouldn't try to close down our charity organizations to pocket the spare change. My father never bribed a Congressman in his entire life and I'll be damned if my mother ever approved of the donation of sugar pills instead of actual aspirin to children's hospitals…"

He began to pace the room, his eyes still burrowing into the nervous executives seated at the table. "They weren't greedy; if you recall, my father donated over 65% of our profits to other charities almost every year. They most certainly wouldn't spend millions on weapons contracts…" his eyes met Arnold's, "or booze and women…" then they trained over the rest of the board… "and other vices like betting, fast cars, frivolous lawsuits, and yes I know that at least one of you likes to donate to the Westbro Baptist Church. Needless to say, the only reason I haven't dropped you from the top floor is that I've intercepted every cent and transferred it to the _Freedom to Marry_ association…"

Arnold moved to interrupt, but was swiftly silenced by Bruce's iron grip calming onto his shoulder. "I know every hypocritical move you clowns make…" he sneered, "and I can _guarantee_ that no matter what I do to you, it's nothing short of _retribution_ for all the hours Lucius has to waste cleaning up after your despicable, petty, _mess_."

He returned to his chair, still standing, as his snarl disappeared. He was calm and collected as he continued to address the increasingly sheepish looking board members.

"You say I'm on some sort of _bleeding heart_ crusade…and I'm not. I'm just trying to make money, it's my job. But my girlfriend _is_ on a crusade; she wants nothing less than World Peace and I'll be damned if she doesn't eventually succeed, whether she has to deal with low-life's like you or not. I'm not a good man, but she…she is a _very_ good woman. And because of that, in order to feel like I belong on the same mortal plane as her, I'm trying my best to make every profitable transaction a _good_ , profitable transaction, and make sure we give back to the people we depend on to get here. Not ignore them. Not muddle their accomplishments. Not pocket their bonus so we can afford another yacht. _Reward_ them. Make sure the world knows that every once in a while, good deeds are recognized and rewarded."

Bruce paused again as he lightly gripped his chair, still staring at the sunken faces of the rich and powerful around him. "She's a lot like my parents. She's a good person, _beyond_ a good person. Someone I'm more than willing to look up at and strive to…to improve myself. For them. And I know for a damn fact that neither she, nor my parents, would even trust you guys to pick up the check at lunch.

"You'd just under tip. And with the money and power you have, I don't think you could give our species a bigger middle finger than that if you tried…and it's sad to say, sometimes I think you _do_ try…You wanna know why I hate you guys? _That's_ why." A small snarl formed on his lips.

"Sucks being looked down upon, doesn't it?"

Before anyone of them could respond, Bruce loudly clamped his hands together, his voice straining to regain its previous perkiness.

"Alright…now get out of my board room."

"B-Bruce I…" Arnold stammered, sweat forming on his beefy brow. Bruce raised a hand to interrupt him.

"Arnold, get the fuck out."

They quickly piled out of the room, the clatter of their expensive shoes and flying bits of paper drowning out the low chuckle emanating from the amused Lucius. As the door firmly slammed shut, he watch in awe as Bruce's face morphed into the dark, sunken man he had the rare privilege of seeing. He lightly placed his hand on Bruce's shoulder as he stared at Bruce's piercing eyes.

"I know how much you hate playing this aloof, playboy character, but I gotta say, I love the thrashing you give these guys. Makes my day."

Bruce managed to return Lucius's warm smile with a slight smirk of his own, his hand cupping the untouched glass of brandy. "It's getting easier to tolerate now, at least since I have a way to moralize them now…"

"I'm guessing you want to get down to business?"

"Not here, no. I've got a very important business meeting at 7:00 that's been interrupted at least five times over the past two weeks. You're the COO, I think you've got a handle on this."

"The meeting's with Diana I'm guessing, correct?"

Bruce's smile increased ever so slightly. "How could you tell?"

"You're actually smiling. Don't see that too often unless she's…"

"Yes, she is."

Lucius chuckled as he released Bruce's shoulder. "Alright big guy, then I'll let you go. Say hi to Alfred for me. And to the lovely misses of course."

"Will do." Bruce replied, quickly striding towards the exit. As he laid his hand on the doors, he turned slightly to address Lucius one last time. "It'd be a shame to waste such nice alcohol; you might as well have as much of it as you want while you still can."

"What do you mean?" came Lucius's bemused reply. Bruce's face darkened slightly as his serious side crept onto his features.

"Because I'm going to use it to light Mr. Calloway on fire next meeting…"

The doors closed before his COO could answer; leaving the increasingly confused Mr. Fox to palm the half-full glass in his hand.

"I don't know whether to call the police or buy a camera…" he mused to himself.

…

…

…

 _ **Wayne Manor: Outskirts of Gotham**_

 _ **1950 hours**_

Diana and Bruce leaned back in their chairs as they laughed, their forks at rest next to the stacks of signed and inked papers spread across the table. The small room was quaint, secluded, and more importantly, personal, allowing the stress of their day to melt away as they shared the horror stories of the past twelve hours they were away from one another.

It was a beautiful little haven that only Bruce and Diana got to appreciate. And considering how their days were almost nothing but busy bustling and the near constant stress they both faced, they wouldn't have had it any other way.

How else could a talking mold of clay and a man who scorned humanity at age eight ever feel so human otherwise except with the other next to them and an empty pot of pasta between them?

And of course the international trade agreements they had been filing for the past two hours...

Bruce swirled his gourmet Diet coke (with lime) in his hand as Diana rested her chin on her hand.

"I was going to eat the table…"

"That couldn't be healthy."

"Neither is listening to a group of rich paperweights with their heads so far up their asses they could give themselves an esophagogastroduodenoscopy…"

Diana's brow furrowed. "You made that word up."

"No it's…it's like a colonoscopy for your esophagus."

"Like a panendoscopy?"

"It's the same thing."

"Then why didn't you just say that in the first place?"

Bruce smirked as he leaned forward seductively. "Big words are my secret fetish…"

"Are they now?" Diana purred in response, rubbing her foot up against Bruce's pant leg. "Well I can't wait to see what other little quirks you've got buried underneath all that melancholy."

"Trust me when I say that some things are best left buried, Miss Diana…" Alfred interrupted as he strode gracefully into the kitchen, a litre bottle of coke in his hands. "May I refresh your drinks?"

"I could have sworn I gave you the night off Alfred…" Bruce questioned as he passed his and Diana's glass to the butler.

"You did, but I never was good at following orders when I suspected a life was at risk. Several of your… _signature_ dishes were banned at the Geneva conventions…"

Diana chuckled as a scowl crossed Bruce's face. "I think I can corroborate that."

"I would hope not Miss; getting too close to his meatloaf nearly wiped out the Teen Titans…"

"You know the cave is a great place to hide a body Alfred…" Bruce bristled as he snatched his glass away.

"Precisely why I didn't touch the dirty dishes Master Bruce, just in case I was infected…"

Diana could only chuckle again. "We should call you Katana Alfred, because your…uhh…wit is…sharp…"

Bruce and Alfred both stared incredulously at Diana, her face growing more sheepishly by the silent second.

"Diana you can't just start to…"

"I know I know, I think I used up all my humour at the office…"

"Well I guess Oscar Wilde has left the building then, h-ow!" Bruce's tease was cut off as Diana's foot connected with his shin.

"I'll aim higher next time…"she playfully threatened, crossing her arms. Alfred retrieved the empty coke bottle as he made his way to the exit.

"Since I can't stomach casualties in my old age, I think I'll take my leave. Behave yourselves kids."

"I'm not the one kicki-ow! Stop that!" Diana's smirk grew as she retracted her foot from Bruce's now surely bruising shin, her hand gently waving at the departing, and equally smirking, Alfred. She leaned her chin back on her hands as Bruce bent down to rub his leg, his eyes never leaving hers.

"Will you stop assaulting me if I ask you how your day went?"

"Fine." She relented, returning her foot to its spot underneath her chair. "Same as yours really. Front row seats to human stupidity on ice…"

"See, that was a little better."

"Shut up rich boy, I haven't even gotten to the part where I threatened Ambassador Vinick yet."

"Again?" his brow furrowed.

"Not in the same way; I just told him that Amazon's used to hang the useless parts of our farm animals from their nostrils…"

"And?"

"And I asked him if he'd ever had a piercing before."

It was Bruce's turn to chuckle. "Sometimes I wonder who the more vicious interrogator here is."

"I'm not the one who threatened to holiday stuff someone with asbestos…"

"At least they'd be fireproof." Bruce lamented as he took a swig of his pop. He continued to stare at the chuckling Diana, soon overcome with a laugh of his own. He picked up one of the files they had been pouring over and held it up to his face. His laugh suddenly increased in volume, startling Diana slightly as he spoke.

"You know, it's funny Princess."

"What is?"

"This." he pointed at the document. "This is our _normal_."

"Hmm," she stroked her chin as she eyed the stacks of papers around her. "Yes, I suppose you're right. We fight supervillians, monsters, and vengeful gods at night…"

"And during the day we fight politicians, businessmen, and enough money to suffocate Scrooge McDuck…"

Diana leaned back in her chair, her arms crossing her chest again. "And we consider it normal…"

"If we're not in the middle of god knows where with the league…"

"We're across the table from the most powerful leaders and entrepreneurs in the world…"

"Little time to ourselves…"

"Married to our jobs…"

"And they're both abusive…" Bruce mused jokingly, putting his empty glass back down on the table. He stared at Diana inquisitively. "Would you have it any other way?"

Her eyes wandered as she rolled the idea around in her head. For a brief second, Bruce felt his heart rate increase, only to feel it jump as her glistening eyes fell back on his.

"No, no I wouldn't. You know why?"

"Coffee?" he joked with a smirk, enjoying the playfully annoyed glare she was giving him.

"I was going to say because of you, but since you're being that way…"

She felt his warm hand touch hers, their eyes meeting from across the table.

"I was thinking the same thing Princess." He said softly. "I don't think I've ever been more proud than when I get to brag about you and everything you do. Both in costume and out. I think I can honestly say that you motivate me to be the best I can possibly be no matter what I do, even when it involves _Bruce Wayne the Legendary Fop_."

Diana squeezed his hand as a warm smile spread over her lips. "I love these moments Bruce, I really do. You and I will always be… _partners in crime_ works I think, out there with the League or in the world of politics and business. But here, alone with you…I've never felt so private or small…or _special_. And I love that; no one but you could make me feel that way. No matte what, getting to come home to this every night and spend quality time with you makes it all worth while. It's not a… _normal_ feeling, but I don't think either of us really knows what normal actually is. We've never gotten the chance to actually see it unlike Clark or Wally…"

"They couldn't handle our lifestyle."

"No, and they couldn't handle being with anyone else like that either. We don't have normal lives in the slightest…"

"And I don't think we'd like it very much either." Bruce added, squeezing her hand back. "I think you and I like having all these different responsibilities because…"

"We have to be doing something to save the world somehow?"

"I was going to say we get free food, but yeah your answer works too."

Diana gently kicked Bruce's leg again as they laughed, their smiles only growing larger. "So long as we keep getting to do it together Bruce. Or at least we keep being proud of each other and what they do."

"The only way I'd be _more_ proud of you would be if you beat Vinick to death with Steve Trevor's femur…"

" _Bruce!"_

"Sorry sorry…" he replied with a chuckle, "it was a long day. I need some violence."

Diana glanced out the small kitchen window as light flooded into the room, the piercing yellow glow of the bat-signal perched proudly over the Gotham skyline. A mischievous smirk materialized on her face.

"Looks like the gods answered your prayer Bruce."

"Well then, _we'd_ better get a move on." Bruce replied as he stood, gently grabbing Diana by her wrist. "After all, nothing gets me more excited than…uh…punching…look this is where you get me back for that comment I made about your wit by saying…"

"Nope. I'm going to make you finish." She interrupted.

"That's sadisitic."

"I am, yes."

"I…I uh, well you see when ropes are…"

"Ropes are what?"

"Stop enjoying this…"

Diana squeezed Bruce tightly as she drew closer to his ear. "Fine. But then you owe me a favor."

He could feel a look of worry spread across his face as his gaze dropped towards her. "Ok…and what might that be?"

"I want to try out a utility belt. See what it's like to be Wonder Woman and part of the Bat-Clan at the same time!" She replied. Her increasingly malicious looking grin only made him more nervous. "What? You said it yourself; we don't like _normal_ …"

* * *

 **...I now understand why Sorkin screenplays are twice as long as everyone else's...Christ I'm never doing a parody like that again.**

 **Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! As painful as it was, I really enjoyed figuring out the theme behind this one. The idea that both Bruce and Diana have equally important "regular" and superhero jobs, and the fact that they'd both have to shift between different attitudes and personalities in order to be successful in them, made for an interesting comparison in my opinion. The fact that both of them understand this and are both equally committed to living these responsibility filled lives is another reason why I like this pairing so much: they don't have to constantly pine to be with one another, and when they are, they never really care whether it's, well "normal". They're proud of what each other does and the time they do get to spend together, no matte in what capacity, is special to them.**

 **The fact that their jobs overlap so much also helps.**

 **Just my opinion though, I mean...what do I know right?**


	8. Reflections on a Rooftop

**Thought I forgot about this story didn't ya?**

 **Well you'd be right...**

 **Not really a romance one per say; I wrote this to be just as applicable as a purely friendship based thing. But I'll be honest here, it's really hard for me NOT to write these characters with a bit of...something in there.**

 **Anyways, hope you enjoy!**

* * *

 _ **Reflections on a Rooftop**_

The lights of an armada of GCPD cruisers bathed the area in flashes of blue and red, accentuating the bullet holes riddled throughout the old stone lining the street. He could feel a cool, damp breeze slink its way through the alley way, rustling the puddles at his feet and playing havoc with the bit of gauze squished between his fingertips. He gave up fiddling with his bandage when the soft clicking of heels drew his attention towards the shadows.

"You alright?" he called into the darkness, leaning off the hood of his car slightly. "Got pretty hairy back there."

"Light scratches; nothing new for me." The figure replied, stepping out into the dim light in the street. Underneath her chipped goggles, a suggestive smile appeared on her lips. "Besides, I'm pretty nimble."

He chuckled, still dabbing his forehead. "Well that makes one of us Selina; bastard with the crowbar got me across the eyes pretty good. Maybe that's why I kept seeing such flamboyant backup…"

"Well the new SWAT uniforms are a little suggestive, aren't they?" she purred slightly, sauntering forward towards the detective. He let out another light chuckle before wincing in pain.

"Not what I meant. Not even close."

"Don't worry, you're not suffering from any more concussions than normal," Selina replied, taking a seat next to him, "that was really them."

"Heh, when you said you were connected…" he winced again, drops of blood forming on the dirtied strips of gauze. Selina gave him a concerned (and mildly amused he figured), look.

"You need a hand tough guy?"

"Nah, I'm fine."

"Uh huh. Here, let me help."

He pulled away quickly, a look of indignation replacing his pained grimaces. "Wait a sec, I got a reputation to protect here!"

"Sam…"

"Seriously Selina, I got this under…"

"Oh just give it here you big idiot! Before whatever's in the puddles splashes into the cut." She swiped the bandage from his hand and leaned over him. One look into her eyes would reveal nothing but defiance.

And playfulness, he noted too, something that never really seemed to leave her spirit no matter the circumstances. Not that he was complaining…

"Fine…but be gentle this time."

"Nope. Don't feel like it." She replied with a wide smirk. It drew out another chuckle from him, this time without a single wince as she dabbed away at his wound.

…

…

…

Above them, two figures were perched on the side of a building's roof. A large and luminescent moon cut through the grey clouds behind them, covering them in streaks of pale light. The figure dressed in all black turned to his companion, her attire far brighter and warmer than his own, and spoke in a low, straight forward voice.

"Thanks for the assist Princess; it's not every day that the GCPD has to deal with a malevolent Greek spirit."

"It was my pleasure, Batman." She replied with a smile, her voice as bright as the colours of her costume. She palmed a small, golden disk containing the captured spirit in her right hand cautiously, its smooth features reflecting the starry sky almost perfectly. "Besides, there's a rather unpleasant feud between Poseidon and Hades that this little trinket will likely placate."

"Hmph, good to hear that even gods get weighed down by politics now and again." Batman replied with a scoff. Wonder Woman nearly snorted, drawing a bit of a confused stare from the Dark Knight beside her.

"'Weighed down'? Bruce, they practically _invented_ political posturing!"

Batman smiled, a silent confirmation that he appreciated the humour. It took a lot to get him to laugh outright, especially if it was directly after a rather exhausting mission, but she never failed to crack the stoic exterior and bring out a small smile from him.

It faded from his face as his gaze dropped towards the street filled with GCPD cruisers, and the two figures seated nearest to the alley. The one in the black leather suit was doing her best to patch up the detective's forehead. Batman remembered seeing him take a heavy hit from some poor possessed sap with a crowbar; luckily Catwoman was there to take him down before he got another swing in on Detective Bradley. Wonder Woman stepped closer, gazing forward at what Batman was preoccupied with.

"It's good to see that the GCPD isn't arresting her on sight anymore," Wonder Woman stated, "she really has turned her life around, hasn't she?"

"That she has." Batman agreed, still staring at the duo from the shadows.

"You care for her deeply, don't you?"

Batman turned his attention back to Diana, his cape bristling slightly in the damp evening breeze. "I do. Not in _that_ way though."

"Really?" She chuckled, her arms crossed at her chest, "Hal's been spreading interesting lies around the watchtower then."

"Reports can be exaggerated Princess." He replied plainly, though she figured that a certain member of the Green Lantern Corps was going to get a severe talking to at the next meeting. If it was anything like the Guy Gardner incident, she'd be sure to be there no matter what.

"There might have been something there, a while ago," he continued, "but what she needs is something I can't provide. There's too much baggage, too much past distrust on both sides. She needs a clean slate, preferably from someone who doesn't feel the need to gallivant around town with a belt full of batarangs." He turned back towards Wonder Woman, the white slits of his cowl far softer and gentler than usual.

"Anything else wouldn't be fair to her."

She placed her hand gently on his shoulder, returning his look with an equally warm and understanding smile. "That's very noble of you, but I think you're selling yourself short." Her eyes darted back towards the duo on the ground, the two figures having moved from fighting over his bandage to conversing with Harvey Bullock and the ever present haze of cigar smoke he carried around.

"Detective Bradley does seem like a nice young man, though."

"He's a good kid." Batman agreed. "Doesn't judge her, let's her be the free spirit she is. He's got a good head on his shoulders. I've worked with his dad too; it runs in the family. Slam was probably the first honest cop Gotham ever had, predating even Jim."

"I take it you check up on her every now and again?" it wasn't really phrased like a question, as if she already knew the answer. Nor was there a trace of judgment in her voice; it was lie she understood completely the way his mind was working. So, he answered honestly, lamenting to himself that he understood how she was the "spirit of truth".

"Occasionally, just to make sure she's still on the right path. I always had high hopes for her; she was the only one of my rogue's gallery that I didn't see as some extension of myself."

This caught her off guard slightly, causing her arms to drop to her side as she pressed further. "What do you mean?"

"It's nothing, Princess." He backtracked, trying to atop the line of questioning dead.

"No, it's far from nothing." She retorted, more forcefully this time, "what do you mean?"

"Diana…"

"Bruce, please." He was staring into her eyes now, again seeing how warm and comforting they were. He cursed himself for the weakening of his emotional barriers as she chipped away at them with every passing second.

He paused. A still silence hovered over them for several seconds while his face hardened. She could see his shoulders sink, weighed down by his own inner demons. Finally, as if remorsefully, he spoke, his voice far lower than before.

"…she's the only one who I didn't think was a lost cause…"

The words struck her hard, but she recovered quickly. In one deft motion, she latched into his shoulders and spun him around, preventing him from looking away. There was a fiery determination in her eyes now, the kind she reserved for all her heated battles. And yet, he could still sense nothing but compassion and a deep, equally powerful love for everything and anyone emanating from her and every word she spoke.

Another reminder that his reclusive nature wouldn't work on her.

"Bruce, you are many things. But a lost cause isn't one of them."

He tried to look away, but found that he couldn't. She continued, her eyes burrowing even deeper this time.

"You're kind and loving even if you refuse to show anyone else this fact; what you've told me today should be evidence enough of that. You're not lost to the darkness yet, Bruce, I refuse to believe that." Her gaze softened. "Otherwise, how would you be able to keep me so grounded?"

His somber look lightened, but to her displeasure, it was only slight. Very slight. His voice was still low and filled with deep seated regret when he spoke, beginning first with a heavy sigh.

"I almost believe you, Diana."

"Almost?"

"Yes, that's what I…" he noticed her arm move next to her waist, and immediately his mind connected the dots. He backed away quickly and threw his hands up in a defensive position.

"Don't Diana," he warned, "That's not going to…"

She was completely silent as she grasped her Lasso. With a deft flick of her wrist, and shot out and wrapped itself around Batman's wrist. With speed blessed by Hermes himself, she grabbed onto his other wrist and spun the lasso around his hands, binding them together. Pulling the end tightly, she stood defiantly in front of the Dark Knight, who was now gritting his teeth together as rage seeped into his features.

"Untie me Diana, this isn't…"

"Tell me something, Batman," she stating, completely ignoring the Dark Knights objections, "do I lie?"

"I don't think we need the Lasso to answer that." He deadpanned, only to grunt as the bindings on his wrists were pulled tighter.

"Do I lie?" she repeated.

"No."

"So if I say that you're not a lost cause, do you think I mean it?"

He struggled against his bonds, but even he couldn't overcome the Lasso's power.

"Yes." He conceded.

"And you trust me?"

"Implicitly."

"So if I'm not lying, and if you believe that I'm being sincere, don't you think that should give you pause?"

"Diana…"

"Maybe make you consider that you've been lying to yourself this entire time?"

He was silent, sweating and still struggling against the lasso's bonds. Wonder Woman pressed again, this time with a more gentle voice.

"If you truly trust me Bruce, after everything that I've said, do you still believe that you're a lost cause?"

"No…" he choked out, "no…I don't…"

Her determined stare morphed back into a smile, and with another flick the lasso unwound itself from Batman. "Good…and to think people pay good money for psychologists…"

Batman remained silent, almost sulking back into the shadows as she placed her lasso back on her hip.

She wasn't about to let him get away though…

"Be mad at me if you want, Batman, but that had to be done."

Still no answer, instead his dark form was staring back into the Gotham sky. Diana moved closer, and placed her hand back on his shoulder. He didn't pull away.

"Too many people care about you to let you just wither away thinking like that, Bruce. If I have the ability to try to make you see what you refuse to acknowledge, I feel as though it's my duty to do something. You mean too much to me to do otherwise."

Her hand left his shoulder and she turned to leave, anticipating that the conversation was now over. Before she took to the sky, she called back to him. "You've pulled me back from the abyss so much and sworn to look out for me like this with all your heart and soul; trying to return the favour is the least I could do."

His voice, now gentle and devoid of any growl or displeasure, stopped her from taking off yet again. "I'm a guy, Princess. We're allergic to opening up."

He turned his head towards her, a discrete smirk on his lips. She returned it with her own playful smile as she re-crossed her arms over her chest. "You sure you're not mad? I did just kick your ass a little back there…"

"How very regal of you…" he deadpanned. She snorted slightly in response.

"I'm not a rookie here, Bruce. I've picked up a few things in my travels." Turning on her heels, she produced the disk again and readied herself to drift into the sky. "I should get this someplace secure."

"Do you want help with transport?" Batman asked. He quickly tried to cover his tracks as she shot him an amused stare. "Security reasons."

"No, I'll be fine." She replied as she lifted off into the starry night sky. "Besides, you're not allowed in my city…"

She left Batman on the roof as she launched into the air, a smirk proudly on display. His brow furrowed under his mask as his eyes followed her ascension into the clouds. Just as she disappeared from view, a smile grew underneath the lip of his cowl, and for the first time in a very long time, he let out a good, honest chuckle…

…

…

…

Sam and Selina stared upwards towards the top of the low-rise, the Detectives forehead expertly bandaged now. He scratched at the stubble on his chin as he addressed the leather clad woman next to him.

"Hmmm, I didn't know they were friends…"

"He's filled with surprises." Selina replied with a grin of her own.

"Should I tell them to get a room?"

"Do you want to fish your colon out of a dumpster after everything you've been through tonight?"

"Heh, fine, alright." He conceded. "Then I say we get something to eat. My tummy's making funny noises again."

Selina wrapped her arm around Sam's shoulder as their matching footsteps clicked down the street towards his parked car. "Sounds good to me. You're not going to make me stay in this costume again though, right?"

"Is that a no?" he asked with an honest tone to his voice.

"Yeah, that'd be a no."

"Oh…damn…"

* * *

 **Just for those who may not be aware: Slam Bradley was the first superhero esq character DC ever created, appearing all the way back in Detective Comics #1. His son, Sam Jr. appeared in the Catwoman series penned by Ed Brubaker after his father was resurrected during Ed and Darwyn Cooke's Detective Comic's run (both of which are excellent; Ed's probably the best at doing crime stories involving heroes and Darwyn Cooke is one of my favorite artists of all time). I always liked the little romance they showed in that series, so I thought I'd include it here while also explaining a bit why I like Catwoman as a character but not so much as a Batman love interest.**

 **Great character, great potential, doesn't go very far beyond "cat and mouse" with the dark knight.**

 **Anyways, hope you enjoyed and...well I'd say stay tuned for more but I've got a few projects to work on, so this is really an "update when I feel like it" sort of thing...**


	9. A Rousing Round of Politicking

**I hi there, I'm back.**

 **This is partially inspired by a conversation between myself and the Editor-in-Chief of the Wonderbat fandom (you all know who that is), where I started asking myself "ok, how often would Batman and Wonder Woman agree about politics?"**

 **The answer was "not often, more or less".**

 **Now, I know everyone hates politics, so while this contains elements of it, the purpose is more to explore their different opinions and approaches to being living organisms, as opposed to, say, me writing a treatise on "How to dumb-I mean Politic in a Superhero universe".**

 **Because...well that's just silly.**

 **Anyways, hope you all enjoy, and as per usual, I own nothing but the clothes on my back. Which are not mentioned anywhere in this story because, again, weird.**

* * *

 _ **A Rousing Round of Politicking**_

 _ **The "Annual Progress and Development Conference"; hosted by the Gotham Chamber of Commerce**_

 _ **5 years before the formation of the Justice League…**_

The _Archibald Kane Memorial Banquet Hall_ was one of Gotham's most exquisite buildings. Sweeping fields of emerald green grass, constantly groomed and cared for by an army of gardeners, led to a series of arches constructed of glimmering white marble and aged, golden trim. A massive glass dome sat perched in the centre of the Hall, containing a central concourse filled with expensive and rare artwork standing sentinel around a circular dance floor. Natural light would flood in through the glass during the day, but at night, the glass would become reflective in the darkness of the sky, mirroring everything below it in near perfect quality.

For nearly three decades, it welcomed those fortunate enough to step into its hallowed halls with an extravagant hug.

Tonight, the dance floor was filled with chairs and tables, and each chair and table was in turn filled with the most elite and well-known of the business and political world. The chatter was at a low hum, filled with the occasional giggle, and the music was a selection of Beethoven's finest, played at a reasonable volume. Dresses sparkled, shoes shined, and the rattle of expensive jewelry mixed in with the mingling voices.

They were the best and the brightest of the world of the wealthy, and they made damn sure that the few reporters allowed inside would catch that. They drank and ate and danced around the tables covered in maroon cloth. The net worth of a single pocket of people alone would be enough to make several smaller countries jealous. Lex Luthor was there, conversing in private with Maxwell Lord. Veronica Cale chatted up a rather disgruntled looking Oliver Queen. Ted Kord was helping himself to the buffet table.

And, of course, the Prince of Gotham himself, Bruce Wayne, was there as well, trying his best to ghost in and out of the crowd. Despite his wealth and prestige, he had few friends here. In fact, his very own Chamber of Commerce utterly despised the son of Thomas Wayne; a man who was rather hated in these very same circles himself back when he was alive. This wasn't because of his outlandish personality or because of some petty jealousy, though for some that may have played a part of it.

No, very simply, it was because Bruce refused to play by the rules. And nothing besides misused infrastructure of a civil war would make an investor more nervous than that.

Very few people in the press knew about the hostility brewing under the surface. Then again, very few people in the press knew the man himself, besides the anecdotes that were often thrown around. The bespectacled Clark Kent was one of these few people, and he couldn't help but put the screws to the billionaire when he caught up with him beside the hors d'oeuvre table.

"Well Bruce," he said. "I'm surprised no one's tried to kill you yet."

"Assassin's don't come cheap these days," Bruce replied in a humourless tone. He picked at a cracker covered in raw salmon with his finger, while Clark maneuvered closer, chuckling lightly.

"Sometimes I think you hate your job."

"Hard to believe you've got less Pulitzers than Lois," Bruce deadpanned with a slight smirk. "Speaking of which, I'm surprised you're here and she's not."

"You know I'd never resist the chance to knock you down a few pegs," Clark said as he adjusted his glasses. "Besides, Lois is halfway across the world right now, so I was the only one available that owned a suit. Budget cuts and all that."

"Halfway across the world huh? You check up on her periodically?"

Clark couldn't help but blush. "Periodically," he confirmed.

Bruce's smirk didn't fade. He chucked his empty plate into the waste bin next to him, and crossed his arms, still staring at the reporter from Metropolis. "That's the only reason you're here?" he asked. "It's just business? Not _business_?" He lowered his voice to accentuate his point.

"Nope, just the former," Clark said. "I have a byline to write, and you're the subject matter. Mind if I pick you apart?"

"You can try," Bruce replied.

"Great." Clark pulled out his notepad from his jacket pocket, and produced a pen from behind his ear. Bruce almost rolled his eyes; Clark looked as much like a stereotypical 1940's reporter as humanely possible, and the pen-behind-the-ear didn't exactly help. He uncrossed his arms and slid his hands into his pockets, trying to look as casual as possible as the Boy Scout started scanning quickly through his notes. The other patrons paid them no notice.

"Alright, first question is a real doozy Bruce."

"Don't make promises, Kent," Bruce deadpanned.

"The Wayne Foundation supports several different charities specializing in housing for homeless individuals, and several more for youth activity programs and schooling. But Gotham's homeless population remains amongst the highest in the Western Hemisphere, and Wayne Enterprises remains second only to LexCorp in annual revenue according to _Forbes_. Do you think you can or _should_ do more?"

"I think that with the amount I pay in income tax, I'm _already_ doing more," Bruce replied nonchalantly. Clark quirked his brow.

"Is that a Bruce Wayne answer or a _Bruce Wayne_ answer?" he asked, copying Bruce from before. Bruce merely shrugged.

"I'm not at liberty to say."

"Alright," Clark conceded. "Fair enough. Second question: you recently blocked a Chamber proposal to renovate Gotham's East End. Why?"

"The proposal was nothing more than shady agendas and the filling of pockets," Bruce replied. "I don't like to support cronyism."

"Even if people still get help?"

" _Nobody_ gets actual help in those situations."

Clark chuckled. "Careful Bruce, people might start thinking you have a soul."

"I'll try answering more honestly then," he retorted. Clark chuckled again.

"Third question: you called the Themysciran Ambassador's "New Way Pact" a 'farce'. Care to elaborate?"

A voice- light and angelic, but also forceful enough to demand their full attention- interrupted Bruce's response. Both he and Clark found themselves staring at a tall, raven haired woman, hand's perched on her hips, her striking blue eyes staring straight ahead. As she spoke, Bruce cursed himself for not being aware enough to see her coming…and he cursed Clark for clearly being able to hear her a mile away.

"Oh, I'm sure Mister Wayne said it completely in jest," she said lightly. Her eyes were locked onto Bruce. "Unless, of course, he _does_ want to elaborate, in which case I hope he doesn't mind if I listen in."

Bruce new precisely who this woman was, but decided to play dumb anyways, if for no other reason than the fact that his playboy act more often than not got him out of this sort of trouble, rather than in. "And you are?" he asked. Clark shot him a look.

"I would be the Themysciran Ambassador, Mister Wayne," she replied, her hand outstretched. "You can call me Diana."

Bruce put on his best grin, and lightly held her hand, preparing to bend down and kiss it.

"Just a handshake, please," she said, shifting her hand. Her voice was still light.

And it caught Bruce completely off guard.

He straightened up, still grinning, and shook her hand. In the corner of his eye, he saw Clark start to laugh under his breath, but he decided again shooting him a glare. Instead, he looked directly and calmly at Diana and said, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Diana."

"Likewise, Mister Wayne," she replied.

"I'm surprised you even heard my comment," he said. "I'd imagine you're very busy at the moment."

"I make time," she replied. "Besides, I take any critiques very seriously. Even if they are only two syllables."

"My style hasn't failed me so far," he said. He managed to spot Clark out the corner of his eye, eyeing them curiously. He decided quickly to share the burden. "Oh, this is Clark Kent, from the Daily Planet." He gestured over towards Clark, who didn't have enough time to wave in protest before Diana extended her hand out towards him.

"A pleasure to meet you as well, Mister Kent."

"I uh….thanks. You as well, Diana. Err, sorry, Miss Diana," he stammered. Bruce rolled his eyes.

"Impeccable manners, Clark."

"Ah," Diana said, releasing Clark's hand. "So you two know each other." She turned back to Clark. "No wonder you're the only one here brave enough to talk to him."

"Most would call me stupid instead of brave," Clark responded.

"In most cases, they are one in the same," Diana said. Bruce, behind her, scoffed.

"Speak for yourself," he said.

Diana couldn't help but smile. She crossed her arms, looked at Bruce with a quirked brow, turned back to Clark and said, "Do you mind if I steal your subject for a while?"

Both Bruce and Clark were caught off guard again. The latter managed to recover, and, adjusting his glasses again, replied, "Uh….sure, of course. I can catch him for a follow up later."

Bruce, having recovered himself, stared at Diana inquisitively, unable to piece together any intent from her. Still curious, he glanced at Clark with a glare and said, "Assuming I'm still _alive_ , you mean."

Diana's grin didn't fade. She took Bruce's arm and led him away from the table. "Mister Wayne, you give me too much credit," she said. "After all, I left my _sword_ at home."

…

…

…

Bruce and Diana found an unoccupied table next to the ice sculpture. It was late enough in the evening that passing body heat had melted and deformed what once was a swan into something that looked straight out of the adventures of Captain Nemo. The music and chatter levels were still a low hum, hanging peacefully over the crowd, interrupted occasionally by a slow drip from the ice.

Bruce pulled out Diana's chair for her, to which she responded by gracefully sliding into the one opposite from him with a snarky smile. Bruce felt his brow rise again. He normally prided himself on being able to predict the movements of those around him, but so far, this Themyscarian had managed to throw him through several loops.

He'd have to up his game. No alcohol for him, he decided.

Bruce slide into his own seat, pulled it closer to the table, and once he was close enough, he rested his elbows on the table lazily and reached for a glass of water. Diana did the same, and offered up a toast. Their glasses clinked, and they downed their refreshing drink quickly. The light at the table was dim; only a single, flickering fake candle tucked behind a fake bunch of roses provided any illumination. But it was enough to reflect off a pair of large, heavy looking bracelets wrapped around Diana's wrist.

Bruce would have to ask her about those, assuming the conversation didn't nose dive immediately.

"So, why do you think I'm a farce?"

 _Excellent start_ , thought Bruce.

"I never said _you_ were a farce, Miss…"

"Just call me Diana," she interrupted. "Less formal that way."

"Alright," he replied, "so long as you're willing to just call me Bruce."

"That's doable," she said. She cupped one of the fake roses gently in her hand. "I know you didn't call me a farce _directly,_ Bruce. But I take this "New Way" very seriously. Very close to my heart."

"It's not a good idea to take criticism so personally," Bruce replied.

"I agree, but I'm just trying to establish that I'm pouring my soul into this, and if there's any legitimate criticism to be had, I'll take it equally as seriously. One must be open minded when it comes to international affairs."

"Then may I speak candidly?" Bruce asked. A risky proposition, but something about this Diana….. _intrigued_ him. Diana dropped the rose and steepled her hands in front of her, stating at Bruce with her full focus.

"I'd want nothing less," she calmly replied.

"Alright." He paused and considered his words carefully. "You're initiative is noble. Banding smaller, underrepresented nations together in order to boost key votes is politically brilliant…."

"Thank you."

"…on _paper_ ," he continued. She didn't flinch. "The power balance is not in your favour. Themyscira only joined the bigger world recently and, next to the myths about mythical warrior women that I find hard to believe…"

"You'd be surprised."

"…..you have little to no clout. Countries like the US and China could crush you without batting an eyelash; they know it, and most of the countries in your new group know it too. So you have no leverage. As altruistic as you might intend this to be, all it looks like to the established, big dogs is a tiny little poodle making noise and biting above its weight class just to get attention for being the new kids on the block. If you understand what I….."

"I do Bruce," she replied, still lightly, still unflinching. "And it's something that was considered long ago. I was trained by the best scholars my homeland has to offer long before my mother ever stepped forward and revealed us to the world. I know my way around politics."

"And?" Bruce's brow was raised again.

"And these other nations do not, simply because for too long they've been cast aside as expendable or beyond the trouble of being heard. My initiative is as much to teach them about the ins and outs of politics and the best ways to make use of what little time and resources they are granted as it is about forming a coherent block of the….'under dogs'? Is that the saying?"

Bruce leaned back in his chair. "It is. That's interesting, Diana, but you run into another problem. You assume these people are willing to listen to you. A lot of these countries….."

"Have a dim view of women in power, I know."

"And you have a plan to deal with that?"

"You would think that being reasonable would be enough, wouldn't you?"

Bruce couldn't help but chuckle. "No one's reasonable in politics Diana. It's a game played by cut-throat power prostitutes with horse blinders on them. No offense intended, of course."

"So long as you're careful who you mention that too," Diana replied. Her arms were now crossed over her chest, and she was leaning back in her chair as well.

"You'll be killed by infighting, plain and simple. All because a couple of backwards people with too much power can't get past the fact that you were born one way instead of the other. So unless you're a pile of mouldable clay, this is just going to be another promising idea struck down by human hubris." Bruce saw Diana chuckling, and leaned forward again. "Was it something I said?" he asked curiously.

"Yes, yes it was," Diana replied, accidentally snorting in the process. She cleared her throat with a cough, and re-crossed her arms. "Sorry, it's….a long story." She caught herself staring at the still bewildered Bruce. Earlier he it had seemed like he was wearing a thick layer of lies like a mask, like he was shielding himself from the crowd, even from Clark who she presumed was a close friend. There were still hints of it there, but it had become more….transparent now, replacing a foppish but still closely guarded man with a far more intellectually curious one.

 _Interesting_ , she said to herself.

"You're rather cynical, aren't you?" she asked.

He chuckled, genuinely, and leaned back in his chair. "I have to be. Gotham isn't a shining city on hill. Never was and likely never will be at the rate we're going."

"Interesting. And yet, you say you can't, or _shouldn't_ do more?"

His brow quirked again. "I beg your pardon?"

"I have good hearing," she replied, somewhat sheepishly. "I overheard you and Clark talking, your first question. You more or less implied that you were doing enough. You don't believe that, do you?" There was no accusation in her tone, just pure, genuine, curiosity. Bruce was taken aback by her openness and honesty, and couldn't help but feel the need to become less opaque in return.

"It's not a question of whether I should do more so much as it's a question of dependence." He found himself leaning on the table again, closer to Diana, staring straight into her eyes. She didn't respond. He took that as a cue to elaborate and continue. "Gotham's billionaires are among the most corrupt in the country, I don't deny that. But that basically means that the Wayne Foundation is the first and only refuge for the destitute. But there's only so much I can do. If I start acting as a private welfare service, and I don't have nearly enough of the infrastructure to act in that capacity, what's the incentive for other businesses or even the _government_ itself to step up and start acting?"

Diana started counting off her fingers. "Publicity. Positive Image. A sense of duty lurking deep within even the darkest of men's souls."

"Trust me," Bruce said. "They'd rather save a quick buck."

"Alright, let's say I think you're right. Which you're not; there's always going to be people out there willing to do more, but of for the sake of argument, I'll humour you. Doesn't the prospect of helping at least justify trying?"

Bruce paused and rolled the question around in his mind. After a silent second, he crossed his leg over his knee and responded. "I have no problem making sure they don't starve or freeze, but I'm only hurting them further if try and do everything."

He expected her to pause herself, but again, she wasn't fazed. In fact, it seemed like she had anticipated this response.

 _Interesting….._

"Providing opportunity is not the same thing as hand holding, Bruce," she said. "And you're thinking about this like all businessmen do; in the short term."

"In the long run, we're all dead," Bruce replied, though the snark was significantly more subdued than even he thought. Above all else, he was curious to see where she was going with this.

"Some of us, maybe," she said with a smile. "But that's not my point. Education, accessible and affordable healthcare, job training, making sure the poor and the vulnerable have a place to stay and eat is an important step Bruce, but it's a far larger hole that many of these people find themselves in. You could set up innumerable programs within the Wayne Foundation, you could help these people pick themselves up off the ground and find the right path. You could open up charter schools for no cost in poor communities or work with the local school boards, you could sponsor clinics and doctors all around the city, you could work with unions and provide courses and practical training for workers all over the city."

Bruce sighed. He started absentmindedly playing with the cutlery at the table. "As much as I've wanted to do all this, it's like I said before. I don't have the infrastructure to support all of this by myself."

Diana shook her head. "Why do you feel like you need to go at this alone? I know the government of Gotham is corrupt, but if Jim Gordon can become Commissioner, then obviously there are a few good souls in office. If not in Gotham, go to the state legislature and bypass the gangs and the mobs completely?"

"I'm not much of a team player, admittedly."

"There's strength in teamwork," Diana said. "Trust me on that."

Again, he found himself chuckling warmly. He took a slight sip of his water, now devoid of ice. "I suppose I have to, even if I don't fully know _why_ yet," he said through the echo of the glass.

Diana chuckled in turn. "Good, I was hoping that you weren't as cruel as Batman."

Bruce was unable to stop himself from spitting water like breaching whale. Diana lurched back in surprise as the stream of mist sailed past her head. A waiter, unlucky enough to be in the vicinity, nearly dropped his platter onto the head of a large man as he bent and twisted away from danger. Diana eyed Bruce incredulously, while Bruce could only dab at his mouth with a cloth and offer sheepish apologies to those around him. Finally composed, he coughed, cleared his throat, turned back to Diana, and said, "I-I'm sorry, that caught me off guard. I've never been compared to, uh, _Batman_ before."

"I should hope not," Diana said. "Despite all your eccentricities, you're undeserving of an insult like that."

For the first time in the entire evening, which he reluctantly admitted had gone very well up until this point, Bruce felt deeply offended. Why though, he couldn't understand. That was exactly the kind of reaction he had wanted Batman to cultivate whenever he put on the mask; a terrifying spectre of vengeance who prayed on those who chose to live amongst the shadows. For some reason, Diana calling Batman _cruel_ gnawed at every bit of self-control he possessed.

"I….take it you're not a fan of this, Batman, then?"

"I can't say I approve of his methods, no," she replied with no hesitation. "At best, they're barbaric. At worst, they're criminal, hardly different from the actions of those he claims to fight."

"I can't blame him for skirting the rules, especially since I live here," he stated in as reserved a way as possible. "Like we've both mentioned, the system here is woefully broken. A man like Batman needs to operate outside the system if he's going to do any good."

Diana couldn't prevent herself from scoffing, though she immediately regretted acting so pompous around a man who, she suspected, she had offended in some way. "I have no problem with him operating as a vigilante Bruce. You and I are in agreement that some rules must be broken for the common good. But his brutality is completely unwarranted."

It was at this point that the gears in Bruce's head finally meshed. The bracelets. The reason he was fixated on them earlier, despite looking innocuous under the poor light of the table, was because they matched the bracelets worn by the newest member of the meta-community. This woman was a mystery; known only to Bruce because of his contacts and rare sightings during stakeouts. She moved in flashed of blue and red and gold, and fought battles in places far removed from the likes of Batman and Superman with a hand that was as equally compassionate as it was firm.

And she was sitting across the table from him right now. That would explain it; her own ideals and Batman's were two separate things entirely.

"The people he fights are just as dangerous to themselves as they are to others," he said, wishing he could comment on the differences between militias and clinical psychotics. "If a broken limb or a concussion is the only way to get them off the streets and into some form of care, then I'd say it's _completely_ warranted."

Diana's voice grew a little louder, against her wishes. "And what of the low-level men and women? The ones that are just scared and desperate kids?"

"Batman doesn't brutalize those people, he just scares them."

"And that's any better?"

Now Bruce's voice was rising, and the people around them were giving the bickering duo not-so-subtle glances. "Yes, Diana, it _is_. Because Batman's willing to do the one thing that other heroes _aren't_. He's willing to stand in the doorway to hell and tell everyone who thinks of entering _exactly_ what's waiting for them on the other side."

Diana was almost standing at this point. "Which is _meaningless_ when there's no one around with an open hand telling offering to show them the better way, Bruce. Without compassion, it's just sadism."

"Batman _is_ compassionate. In more ways than anyone will likely be able to understand. But it's not his place to be an angel, not in this city."

"Whose place is it then? Yours?"

Bruce was now standing along with her. "Yes, sure, it is! Because that's what the city needs me to be. But what we need Batman for….it's something completely different. We can't….." he paused, wanting to say 'you' but knowing he couldn't. "We can't all be Superman."

They were both quite. In part because they realized they had been yelling at one another rather suddenly.

They also realized that _other_ people were aware of that too.

They both returned to their seats, somewhat sheepishly, their faces dusted with red around their cheeks. If they were children, they might even be twiddling their thumbs.

Diana was the first to speak. "That's not what I'm saying. My point was, that Batman could stand to be a bit more judicious with the terror tactics. I recognize that I don't know much about him or what he faces, but if he's truly acting in the name of good like you insist he is, and I believe you that he is, I just want to ensure that he's not plagued by the cycle of violence so common in these cases."

Bruce sighed, then stroked his chin. Slowly, a smile grew back on his face. "Perhaps you're right. But I'm sure that, if he's the hero I think he is, he doesn't act the way he does with malice and carelessness."

"No, I'm sure he doesn't. Otherwise this city wouldn't trust him so implicitly," Diana said. She suddenly tilted her head, and started eyeing Bruce with the analytical eyes of a detective. Bruce saw her focusing on his face, moving across his jaw line. A smile crossed her face, though he could tell she was trying very hard to hide it. "That got heated back there. I apologize if I offended you, Bruce."

A million thoughts crossed his mind, but instinctively, he replied warmly and gently, "It's no trouble, Diana. I understand. I apologize for raising my voice as well."

She glanced at a set of dancing couples twirling at the centre of the Hall. "May I try to make it up to you and ask you to dance with me?" she asked sweetly. "I can't say I'm very good, but it looks…..fun."

Bruce's smile grew larger despite himself, and he found himself standing and offering her his hand. She took it with her own, and he felt her warm skin brush against his. "I'll take you up on that offer," he said to her as she stood. "And don't worry, I can teach you a thing or two."

"So very humble," she teased.

"Well I'm not good at _everything_ ," he replied, equally teasingly. "Just _most_ things."

They shared a laugh as they pushed their way through the crowd towards the dancing area. Most of them seemed perturbed that the formerly arguing couple were now heading to what was clearly the centre of attention, but Diana and Bruce paid them no heed. They walked in stride, relaxed but confident, and took up position on the outskirts of the circle of spinning dresses and clacking shoes. Bruce placed his hand on Diana's hip, and cupped her hand in his. They both wore playful, gleaming smirks.

"So," Diana said as they began to shift and dance. " _The doorway to hell_ huh? I didn't take you as the religious type."

"Oh I'm not," Bruce said, spinning her around on his arm. "I can't say I've ever had much room for the gods in my life."

Diana continued smiling. "You're not missing much," she said. "They're all a bunch of assholes anyways."

"That," Bruce said, "we can _agree_ on…"

…

…

…

 _ **10 years later…**_

 _ **San Jullian, Corto Maltese….**_

The battered, bruised and bloodied henchman crawled out of the destroyed bedroom. Around him lay the unconscious bodies of at least fifteen Kobra Cultists, all strewn across the floor in a living testament to the whirlwind of chaos that had blown through the room. He could see the door to the apartment building through his blurry vision; just a few more seconds of crawling and he could bellow for help or limp to an exit.

A voice behind him, gentle and angelic, called out to him, stopping him in his tracks.

"Your friend was most helpful," the voice said. The cracked mirror in front of him showed her reflection perfectly; the red and blue uniform, the tiara, the glowing rope on her hip. Her red boots moved around him, stopping just at his head. She bent down and looked him straight in the eyes, with a look of both pure confidence and gentle authority. She continued.

"He was cooperative and respectful. I didn't even need to use my lasso. He just told me everything he knew about your boss and his plans. Unfortunately, this information is incomplete. So….I'm hoping that you'll be just as cooperative and respectful as he was, and tell me what I need to know to prevent the deaths of several million people." She leaned in closer, and lowered her voice, becoming far more intimidating that he was comfortable with. "Alright?" she asked.

He nearly bit his tongue he was stammering so hard, but eventually, he found his voice, and managed to meekly spit out a reply. "N-no, I-I….I will not betray him! No matter what you do to me, I won't…"

"I'm sorry to hear that," she said, rising to her full height. Without even looking at him, she began to walk away. Shocked, he was about to ask her what she was doing…

….when he felt something snake around his ankles, and tug _hard_.

Before he knew it, he was being dragged across the carpet. Bits of broken table and the unconscious bodies of his allies shot past him. With another yank, he found himself soaring through the air…

The glass of the window shattered into a sparkling shower. He was now staring, upside down, at the streets of San Jullian, at a height of approximately 500 feet. He felt his stomach lurch, so he looked towards his feet…..and felt his stomach lurch even harder.

A demonic looking creature was leaning out the broken window, holding onto the wire that had him suspended above his certain death. It growled at him through shadows and bone white slits for eyes.

" **I can think of a hundred worse ways to die than this. Tell me everything you know and you'll never have to find out what they are."**

He spilled his guts and his bowels, whimpering and crying the entire time. He begged the demon for mercy and he begged Kobra for forgiveness, but the words didn't cease until he had said every secret granted to him.

Including the code for the bomb.

" **Much appreciated,"** the demon said. He let go of the wire….

Batman and Wonder Woman stared out the window as the Cultist tumbled through the air with a high pitched wail. Diana turned to the emotionless Batman, her hands on her hips, and said, "It'll catch on something, right?"

"Eventually," came Batman's reply.

The wire on the ground grew taut with w loud twanging noise, and the screaming below crack as the man lurched back upwards. Batman turned to look at Wonder Woman.

"See?" he said.

Wonder Woman broke out in a chuckle, and lightly patted Batman's shoulder. "Never change, Bruce," she said.

"You neither, Princess," he replied.

* * *

 **The best way to bond with your significant other is to throw someone out a window.**

 **It's true. Freud said that. Like, four times at least.**


	10. Sacrifice

**So here's another update for a fanfiction to a franchise that I don't own.**

 **I let you read it, then you can meet me at the other Author's Note where I can explain why I just did what I did and hope that the yelling and screaming is kept to a minimum.**

* * *

 _ **Sacrifice**_

Diana could barely stand at this point. Her joints ached and caught fire every time she moved. Her vision was blurred and streaked with red. More importantly, deep down inside her, she felt dirtied, sullied. She was standing in the destroyed offices of Checkmate, and to her left, hunched in a corner, was Superman, her best friend, desperately grabbing his throat in an effort to stem the blood that poured from a deep cut on his jugular.

A cut from her tiara.

He would recover. His Kryptonian physiology ensured that. But the magic in her tiara made sure it hurt, hurt enough to keep him down and pacified. It pained her to have to do that to someone as close to her as Kal, but her hand was forced.

Forced by the man that kneeled in front of her, wrapped in her glowing lasso.

Maxwell Lord.

Bruce had warned her about him. Said that he'd never trusted the man, not even back in the days of the JLI and especially after, somehow, he re-emerged from the dead at the head of Checkmate, an organization with a checkered enough past as is. Unfortunately, his paranoia had a tendency to be vindicated, and Lord was no exception. He was a meta, a powerful telepath, and he had Superman strung up like a puppet. He had turned the docile and sweet farm-boy into a raging killer, thinking that his enemies from Darkseid to Doomsday and mutilated those he loved.

He had put Bruce in the hospital, though that stubborn man had insisted in helping her track down Lord despite being little more than a pulp of barely breathing flesh. He was grappling, somehow, with Lord's personal bodyguard, Slade Wilson, aka Deathstroke. A formidable opponent at his strongest, but in his injured state…..

They had argued and argued, and Diana had relented after he agreed to don a specially crafted suit of armour. Bruce and Slade had tumbled out a window some time ago. Diana tried to go after him, but Superman had other plans.

He thought she was Doomsday, and he though she had killed Lois.

Diana was strong and skilled, and she had more than held her own against the Man of Steel, despite the pain it caused her to fight her friend. But she had, and she had bought herself enough time to deal with the real threat. To find a way to break Lord's control over Superman and save herself and Bruce and anyone else Lord deemed a threat from a blue and red flurry of carnage.

So, she asked Lord, with as restrained a voice as she could muster, what she had to do.

Lord, fully wrapped in the unbreakable Lasso of Truth, wore an insidious grin. In his mind, he had already won.

"Tell me how to free him," she asked again, this time lightly enclosing her hand around his neck. The grin disappeared.

" _Kill me,"_ he replied. And he stared her down. Without uttering a single word, he was daring her to go through with it and spill blood.

Diana was an Amazon. She was a warrior. She was willing to do whatever it took to win, so long as the ends were not in themselves evil or malevolent. She would never fight unless diplomacy failed, and she would never kill unless she could no longer pacify.

And this was one of those times. Lord would never release Superman. He had the most powerful weapon on the planet, and he'd never stop until everyone he needed to die was dead. Heroes like J'onn, Kyle, Arthur, even O'Brian.

 _Bruce_.

There would be no hesitation. She cupped his head in her hands, and prepared herself for what came next. She could see Superman, his hand still dripping with blood, staring at her as Lord's control slipped away. She tightened her grip…

A shot rang out, echoing through Lord's chambers. Less than a second later, Lord's head exploded in a shower of blood and gore, spilling all over Diana, Superman, and the checkered floor. The headless body tumbled to the ground as crimson pooled at her feet.

Diana was frozen, unable to move. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Superman stare past her, his mouth agape and his eyes questioning. She turned to where he was looking…

She saw Bruce, slumped over on one knee and grimacing. He was holding one of Deathstroke's guns in his hand. And it was smoking.

Without thinking, Diana leapt over towards him and wrapped her arms around his torso. She helped him stand, and he grunted as bones and metal creaked and cracked. But she could see in his face that he was far more injured mentally than he was physically. He looked white and sick, but he also looked afraid and timid.

And his eyes never left Diana.

"Bruce," she whispered to him in both shock and worry. He didn't respond, just grunted. Diana set him down and kneeled so she was looking into his face. She touched his cheeks with her hand and tried to wipe the shocked look from her face.

It stayed on, just like his face was still pale and scared.

"Bruce," she said again, "what are…what _did_ …..why?" she finally managed to spit out. "Why did you do that?"

Bruce grunted and tried to look away. He stared past her, at the corpse of Maxwell Lord, the person he had just shot and killed. His face remained the same, and remained unchanged as he finally ghosted his vision back to Diana. He opened his mouth to speak, and his voice came out haggard.

"Protecting you," he said. His arm slowly rose, directing her vision behind her. From this angle, the lights in the room were bright enough to illuminate at least half a dozen cameras and their blinking red lights. They were live, and there was no doubt in her mind where they were broadcasting, where Lord had _ensured_ they'd be broadcasting the moment she entered his office. She looked back at Bruce, at a complete loss for words. With a voice still uneasy and quiet, Bruce continued.

"…in the only way I know how."

* * *

 **So...do you hate me yet?**

 **There's a good reason why I did what I did, and I'll explain that in a minute (yeah sorry, this gets to be one of those short story collections that also has essays in them, because it pads out the word count and makes me feel all professional like). But first, if that scene seemed familiar to you, that's because I ripped it from the "Superman: Sacrifice" storyline from Greg Rucka's run on the title (he wrote all three Trinity characters because he's pretty much amazing). In the storyline, Lord uses his relatively new set of powers to control Superman and force him to beat the living snot out of Batman and force him to fight Wonder Woman, who shows why she's such a badass by pretty much winning despite his greater power (I felt bad for Supes in this run, also yes Injustice totally ripped this off but it'd be easier for me to list what it DIDN'T rip off than what it did). In the process, she finds out that the only way to save Superman is to kill Lord, and since Wonder Woman doesn't have the same absolute "no kill" policy that Bats and Supes have (but she has a checklist the size of War and Peace that she has to go through before she gets to that point) she straight up snaps a bitches neck.**

 **And this ends up being the catalyst for "Infinite Crisis" and the temporary break up of the Trinity.**

 **Now I took some liberties with this of course. Batman was in the hospital still at this point, Deathstroke was never a personal guard for Lord, and, of course, Diana and Bruce were only flirting with one another at this point as opposed to dating. But in the name of science, I mean art, I figured that the liberties were justified.**

 **So, why did I do what I did? I'll explain.**

 **Batman's very, VERY overprotective in the Post-Crisis Universe. He tends to manifest this in two ways: 1) be as anti-social as a menstruating Sherlock Holmes or 2) With the Batfamily, refusing to put then in harms way as much as possible and, to prevent any deaths, put them through rigorous training and pretty much be an overbearing father in order to make sure nothing happens to his quote unquote kids.**

 **Batman also knows that Diana is arguably the biggest badass in the DCU, having on multiple occasions stated that she's the best melee fighter in existence and that she could beat Superman (which she did), so, personally, I don't think he figures he needs to shadow her and start blocking bullets for her, since he knows that a) that's a great way to piss her off and b) he doesn't need to do that. But if they were dating, he'd still want to make sure that nothing bad ever happened to her.**

 **Personally, I think it would manifest in this way: he thinks she's the best of all of them, a beacon of hope and love and brightness, and he doesn't want anything to happen to her that would in some way unfairly damage that or put her position as an ambassador of peace in jeopardy. After this Infinite Crisis stuff blew over, that's pretty much what happened; for a while, neither Superman nor Batman trusted her, and after they stopped being little bitches about the whole thing, Wonder Woman was a wanted woman, and Batman ended up inviting her to Nanda Parbat and setting up a new identity for her as Diana Prince, an agent of the DMA under Sarge Steel, while she more or less tried to rebuild people's faith in her since they were scared (the fact that Amazon's Attack happened didn't help. I don't mean in universe I mean in the real world, after that book was published, everyone was terrified of Wonder Woman and the Amazon's because holy shit was that a bad book).**

 **So, if they were dating at this point, I feel like Batman would be compelled to metaphorically take the bullet for her and prevent that from ever happening, since he knows that Batman is already feared and mistrusted, while he never wants anyone to ever feel that way about Diana. So, even though this completely violates his biggest moral standpoint, I think he'd do it for her, because Batman's always about sacrificing himself for the people he loves (anyone who says his life isn't a Greek Tragedy is lying through their teeth) and, well...if he'll make an exception for Darkseid, the embodiment of all evil, I think he'd make an exception for Diana too, the embodiment of everything that's good in life, especially his.**

 **So, let me know what you think. Agree? Disagree? Enjoying these short stories so far? Want me to update Reign of Terror or Behold a Pale Horse?**

 **Yeah those last two probably won't happen, sorry. But I hope you enjoyed the story/essay and thanks for the reviews and likes!**


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